For LGBTQ kids, the world can be a scary and judgmental place, which is why one mom on Reddit was heartbroken when her 10-year-old daughter come out as gay and was not accepted by loved ones. Apparently, some family members believe that her daughter's sexual orientation is just a "phase," which has the mom worried that her kid will never be accepted for who she truly is if she can't even be accepted by those closest to her.
Although the daughter is fairly young, she recently felt brave enough to share the news with her mom.
In a post that has since been deleted, the mom explained that she only gets her daughter on weekends and holidays. The rest of the week, the girl lives with her dad and goes to a Christian school.
"A few weeks ago, she identified herself as lesbian," the mom wrote in her post. "I have always kind of known, so it was no surprise. I cried happy tears and hugged her."
It should have been a happy moment for the family.
But not everyone was willing to embrace her daughter's new identity.
"Everyone that she has told has said that she is 'too young' and 'might outgrow it,'" she wrote.
Needless to say, her daughter took their doubts to heart.
"Her dad questioned her so much that she eventually just said 'never mind' and told him she was straight," she wrote. "Now, she has fabricated a story to tell her whole family. She is telling them all that she has a crush on George and she is straight."
The mom wasn't ready to give up on her daughter just yet.
A couple of weeks ago, the mom decided to surprise her daughter with "lesbian colored cupcakes, a big lesbian flag (which is now hung in her room) and a discreet pride shirt," the mother shared. She even wants to get her involved in a local LGBTQ kids club, which she says focuses on self-esteem and organizes field trips.
She's still worried, however, about her daughter being accepted.
"No one else believes her and it breaks my heart," she wrote, adding that she's worried that her daughter's Christian school would expel her if people there found out.
The girl's father claimed to be OK with it, but even the poster's mother (aka her daughter's grandmother) told her that "she is too young and doesn’t know what she’s talking about."
The mother insists that she knows her daughter's feelings are real.
After all, how many of us had our first crushes in elementary school? Or taped up photos of Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears on our bedroom door? Kids start to develop crushes pretty early, and it doesn't take long to realize how they identify.
"When I was 10, I was writing boys last names in my notebooks to see what it would look like if we got married," the mother shared. "I was flirting with boys at school and crushing on my classmates. And she does all that … but with girls."
Still, the mom says, "no one is taking her seriously except me."
People in the comments thought this mom was awesome.
"You are awesome and I am so glad she has you on her side," one commenter wrote.
"Might wanna rethink that private school," a second commenter chimed in.
A third person cheered on the mom, and added that no matter how her daughter identified, what's most important is that the mom is being supportive:
"It doesn’t matter if it’s a phase or not. Your kid needs to know that her parents are safe people around whom she can explore herself, make mistakes, come to conclusions, etc. Outright telling her that she’s wrong isn’t fostering that kind of environment. It’s better to support her, and to allow her to grow. If she comes back a few years down the line with a new bf in tow, you support her just the same.
"You’re doing great OP. She’s going to feel comfortable talking to you about herself."
Other people argued that there was no way her daughter was old enough to know she's gay.
"Your daughter is not lesbian," one commenter wrote. "She doesn’t have sexual feelings yet/is at the beginning stage of that. Girls that age don’t use this terminology.
"You sounds like a crazy mother who pushed her into this," the person continued. "Luckily the rest of the family is sane."
"Kids come out at 10 years old now?" another commenter wrote. "Lol it’s just something they picked up on TV or the net."
"Maybe she is, maybe she isn't a lesbian," another person wrote. "I just think 10 is way too early for her, you or anyone to tell. Most boys think girls are stupid and yucky until they hit puberty. Doesn't make them gay."
All things considered, the issue has caused the mom to make a serious change.
Later on in the thread, she explained that she's considering changing their custody arrangement, which would allow her daughter to leave her current school.
"She has talked about this many times over the years," the mother shared, "so I know that she wants to move in with me even without the factor of her sexuality."
She's also hopeful that her daughter's father will grow more supportive in the future.
"I think her dad is just in denial," she added, "but he is a decent guy so I think he will come around eventually."
Let's sure hope he does — sooner rather than later.
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