It's only been about a week since the coronavirus outbreak sent Americans retreating indoors to self-isolate. And yet, it feels like a lifetime ago when things were truly "normal." For parents in states where schools have closed, today also marks Day 5 of their new side gig as a homeschool teacher — and many of them will tell you that they have lost their s–t approximately 3,405 times since Monday. But at least one mom is sharing a bit of humor that's emerged from her homeschooling journey so far (even if it was unintentional).
Like so many parents, Teresa Bolden probably embarked upon this week with a fair amount of optimism about how homeschooling was going to go.
After all, unless you've been staying off the internet lately (which, clearly, none of us can), it was impossible to ignore the flood of social media posts from parents sharing color-coded lesson plans they hoped to implement during their quarantine.
You know the ones I'm talking about — they each show the day broken up into timed sections for "academic time," "creative time," and even "quiet time" (LOL!).
Bolden, it seems, was no different, and established a similar routine for her son, Kade.
But during a session of "creative time" Thursday, her son whipped up a work of art that stopped her in her tracks.
"Soooo … homeschooling is going really well," the mom began her Thursday Facebook post.
It seems the mom had encouraged her son to let his creative spirit run a little too wild — causing him to "erect" a masterpiece that led her to nearly spit out her coffee.
Suddenly staring back at her, was something that looked a whole lot like a .... PENIS?!
That's right — a penis.
But if you're thinking her son had brainstormed a million objects to draw and come up with a penis, of all things, that's not exactly how it happened.
"This morning, during 'art,' Kade (age 5) traced the outline of a pair of scissors and came up with THIS beauty," the mom explained.
Ah, yes -- SCISSORS! Of course!
Along with her son's art project, Bolden included a photo of the scissors in question, which had apparently inspired Kade's inner Picasso.
"How lovely he made a rocketship," one Facebook user commented.
"Beautiful piece of art!" another person noted.
With all the heaviness that's been going on in the world right now, a lot of people welcomed a bit of levity.
"This is great‼️" one person wrote. "With everything going on, we need a great laugh … plus it is a child's innocence."
It sure is.
It's also not the only light-hearted homeschooling post that's been making people laugh despite the darkness this week.
On Thursday, Laurie Wolfrey Garcia also shared a jaw-dropping image sketched by her child during "art class" — one that caused her to do a MAJOR double take.
"Day 3 of homeschooling," she wrote. "Art class. Draw a picture showing good hand hygiene."
Apparently, "good hand hygiene" looks a whole lot like a hard-core porn scene.
(Aaaaaand we're DEAD.)
Kids are starting to get fed up with this whole "homeschool" thing, too.
Candice Hunter Kennedy recently shared a "report card" her son wrote for her on her first day of homeschooling. And let's just say, mom did not get a good enough grade to hang on the refrigerator.
"Y’all I’m dying!!!" the mom wrote in a Facebook post, shared Thursday. "This is Ben’s journal entry from Monday about our first 'homed school' day. That last sentence!"
That last sentence was indeed a good one:
"Ben — Homed School, 3-16-20.
It is not going good. My mom's getting stressed out. My mom is really getting confused. We took a break so my mom can figure this stuff out. And I'm telling you, it is not going good."
Georgia mom AC Price also had the internet howling with laughter this week, when she sent out an SOS on Facebook Live.
It came just a few hours into her first attempt at homeschooling.
"My nerves are already shot … I think this is just, you know, real rude, crude, and unattractive," the mom joked. "That's why I don't homeschool!"
"We ain't even got to lunchtime yet!" she continued, before remarking that one of her kids was "flipping off of couches with books — and she ain't reading 'em," and the other one just wanted to repeat the same kinds of math problems over and over again.
"It's the same thing, this algebra!" she exclaimed, "It's the same formula — B equals 5! B equals 5!"
In short, Price darn near lost her mind on Day 1 of homeschooling. And she joins a growing club of other parents who've already lost it, too.
Kim Fearing, a mom of three, admitted on Instagram on Monday that she had totally "nailed this homeschooling thing" for all of three minutes until "crazy started coming out of my mouth."
"There’s only ONE of me and FOUR of you," she began shouting at her kids. "BE PATIENT!"
And, most pressing of all, "Is THIS how you act at SCHOOL?!" she asked them.
Sadly, that seems to be the lesson a lot of parents are learning themselves this week, if they didn't already know it.
Teachers work HARD, while trying to tend to and wrangle a classroom of 20+ kids at a time, who all have different needs, expectations, and challenges. It's exhausting and it's stressful, and now more than ever, they deserve our appreciation.
"Teachers, we miss you! We love you. I am so sorry for all the things my kids are," Fearing wrote in her Instagram caption. "I don't know how you manage 30 of them in a class and they're not even your own kids. I don't even want to deal with the [four] that belong to me. They have so many needs. All at the same time. When school resumes I'll bring you gifts of Starbucks."
Hopefully, it resumes sooner rather than later — for all our sakes.
