If there's one piece of advice that we keep hearing during this uncertain time, it's to practice social-distancing measures, and to stay away from our most vulnerable communities — the immunocompromised and the elderly. So, imagine how absolutely livid one woman was when her mother-in-law wasn't understanding this and wouldn't stop insisting that she pack up the kids and bring them over for a visit. Plus, the woman and her MIL both live in a state that has some of the highest numbers of virus cases in the country.
Even under normal circumstances, the mom doesn't exactly love her MIL ...
The problem is that her MIL is "passive aggressive," "nasty," and "rude," the original poster (OP) explained on Reddit. "I can't stand her," she wrote. "I don't really talk to her at all."
But luckily, for the past six months she was lucky to get a reprieve after her MIL moved out of state.
Everything was good until a few days ago, when her MIL announced that she was back.
The OP's husband was the one to break the news that her MIL and father-in-law were coming back to their home state.
He also "casually mentions that he's going to take the kids over one night this week to visit," the OP shared.
The OP hated this plan.
"Over my dead body will he be taking my kids to visit anyone when we live in the worst and most affected state for c-virus, in an area with a lot of confirmed cases," she wrote.
It wasn't just her own kids that she was worried about. Her in-laws are no spring chickens, and her MIL's asthma was also a serious concern, the OP told her husband. But he thought she was being ridiculous and rolled his eyes.
"I thought that was the end of that," she added.
It was far from over, unfortunately.
That would have been nice. Wouldn't it? But nope — her MIL wasn't ready to raise the white flag just yet. Instead, she left a spicy voicemail.
As the Redditor recalled, her MIL told her that she "wasn't sure if [the OP] knew we were in town since we haven't heard from you." She punctuated the remark with a fake laugh.
The MIL then added that she knew the OP didn't want her to see the kids "for whatever reason" but "if it makes you feel better, I'll have my doctor write a note saying I am healthy, and then, you don't have any excuse not to let them come over."
Then her MIL demanded she drop her kids off Sunday or Monday.
"We did drive all the way here to see them," her MIL reminded them.
The Redditor was fuming. Didn't her MIL know that she would be putting herself in danger?
"I know it's not impossible for kids to get it, but you would think she would have the sense to realize that she is putting herself at risk," she wrote.
And about that little visit her MIL demanded? Yeah, that was not happening.
"I don't care if baby Jesus himself writes a note," the OP wrote.
More to the point, the mom doesn't need to justify her reason -- they're her kids.
She didn't ask her MIL to drive up "to a state that has literally been shut down" because of the risks to see the kids. And in fact, her home state has made it so that people older than 70 "have special rules and regulations about when they can go out and who can visit them right now," she added.
"She's making me seem like a jerk when I have never ever kept my kids from seeing her even when she and I were on horrible terms," the mom wrote.
People were flabbergasted by her MIL and had some choice words for the poster's husband.
"Hate to say it, but you have a significant other problem," one person commented. "He clearly leaked your concerns to her after not taking them seriously."
A second person agreed. "MIL is bad enough, but SO seems to be on the wrong side here too. Totally disregarding the health of both your family and his parents. Also the [expletive] is wrong with in-laws to drive from state to state while there’s a frigging pandemic going around? They should be quarantined."
"He can go stay with her if he’s so keen," a third commenter agreed. "But the kids STAY home."
Based on expert guidance, the OP is in the right.
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, the communities at highest risk are people 65 and older and those with moderate to severe asthma, chronic lung disease, serious heart conditions, diabetes, chronic kidney disease undergoing dialysis, liver disease, severe obesity "body mass index [BMI] of 40 or higher," or who are otherwise immunocompromised.
Although kids are not considered high risk, they can still contract the virus — which would put both her MIL and her kids risk if they are asymptomatic or have yet to show signs that they're infected.
All in all, we can understand why the MIL would want to see her grandkids during a time of crisis. Unfortunately, this is a problem that will only be solved by limiting social interactions. Even with grandkids. In this case, a good old-fashioned Skype session might do the trick.
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