Lots of stuff happens once you've entered that joyous second trimester. Your feet may start to swell, your belly begins to pop, and you're definitely saying sayonara to those pre-pregnancy jeans. But some women also experience some other fun symptoms — such as a heightened libido. That's what one mom-to-be says happened to her once she hit the second trimester. And recently, it landed her in a bit of an awkward scenario. She documented the whole thing in a recent post that's lighting up Reddit, and boy, is it a wild ride.
The anonymous mom-to-be began her post by saying she's enjoyed a much more "robust" libido lately.
That's probably good news for her husband, but on this particular day, she says he went back to work and she found herself missing him … badly.
"I, in my hormone induced horniness, decided that I absolutely could not wait the 4 hours until he got home," she explained.
So, she says she went upstairs to find something to "help her out." (Wink, wink)
"I am happy and healthily married," she explained. "We have a good sex life."
Still, she said it was "unsurprising but also disappointing to me to open our 'dirty drawer' and find that my favorite vibrator had some dust" on it.
But that's not all.
The vibrator also had an "errant strand of pet hair" stuck to it.
Um, yuck?
Still, that apparently didn't kill the mood. This mama was still raring to go, and decided to look past the obvious ick factor.
"I was determined … and lazy," she admits. "I didn’t just climb two flights of stairs preggo to have to go down and spend the 15 minutes cleaning my toy."
And that's apparently when it hit her ...
"And then, I saw it. A box of condoms that had been untouched for 8 months," she wrote. "Bingo!"
"Happily and ignorantly I unwrapped one, put it on the vibrator and went to town figuring I’d clean it all up once I was done and that I was providing myself a safe and sanitary experience in the interim," the mom-to-be explained.
But what happened next was definitely not "arousing."
"Then the burning started … " the woman wrote.
That's right — burning. Down there.
"My hormonally foggy, pregnant lady-boner brain forgot the whole reason why we stopped using the condoms in the first place (which led to our accidental but no less welcome baby bump)," she continued. "I had developed a nasty latex allergy that resulted in hives and a rash."
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, HOW COULD YOU FORGET SUCH A THING?!
But apparently, she had. And it was a grave miscalculation.
"I had just gleefully and stupidly rubbed an irritant ALL OVER my already super sensitive lady bits," the woman lamented. "Not only that, but I was so embarrassed because I knew I’d have to explain to my very sweet, very loving husband why I felt the need to scratch at my crotch incessantly when he got home."
All the emotions hit her at once.
"So, I cried," she continues. "Because I cry about everything these days."
"So now I have diaper cream that I bought for the baby on MY cooch and my husband has laughed at me over the phone and already tried coming up with several nicknames for my itchy, rashy private parts like any good humored husband would," she concluded.
Wow.
Despite her embarrassment, plenty of people had a field day with the story.
Especially those who wanted to know what kind of vag "nicknames" her husband had come up with.
Almost immediately, the mom-to-be obliged.
"'Rash Decisions' or 'Scratch ’n an’ Itch'," were a few, she shared. "He thinks he’s pretty funny. I tell him he’s not."
Others decided to brainstorm a few nicknames of their own.
A few of the main contenders? Vagina Irratado. Scratch and Sniffle. Honey Pot Hives.
A lot of people preferred the husband's nicknames, though.
"'Rash Decisions' kills me because it's such a dad pun," one person said. "He's already primed to be a great dad, the jokes are on point."
That's for sure.
If the mom-to-be was expecting any judgment from the internet, she didn't get it.
A lot of people found the whole tale rather entertaining, and they even thanked her for sharing.
"Hey, at least this gave you a good excuse to make sure the diaper rash cream works before you need to use it on your baby?" one person wrote. "Sorry for your pain, but great story."
We'd have to agree.
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