Sometimes life just happens. You think you'd never in a million years be in a situation, then boom! Your life is suddenly daytime soap opera worthy. There is nothing that can prepare you for it, but you do have to deal with it when it arrives. However, that certainly doesn't stop people from making it extra complicated.
One Redditor found herself in the wildest situation, which ultimately led her to being shamed for not wanting to name her child after the baby her ex and his mistress lost.
Still with us? Let us explain.
"My Ex broke up with me, saying he had feelings for his Coworker but had not acted on them yet," she begins of her wild tale.
"A few weeks later, Coworker posted that she had miscarried, Ex was the father, and they had gotten engaged. A couple weeks after that I realized I was pregnant. It's Ex's. I decided to keep it and informed Ex. He asked for 50/50 custody, which I've agreed to."
Because all of these people are committed to making this child's life a healthy one, they are all working on amicably coparenting.
After talking with the co-worker extensively, the mom-to-be determined her to be a decent person, one who was normally level-headed, and even apologized for the affair (even though she had no idea it was an affair) and is relatively experienced with children.
"They messaged me earlier saying there was something they wanted to discuss," wrote the mom-to-be.
"They had picked out names while Coworker was pregnant. Coworker has had some additional tests that show she is unlikely to ever be able to carry to term, and as I don't intend to have any more children with Ex, her impending stepchild is her only chance to name a kid, so they want to use these names for my baby."
The mom-to-be went on to say they had picked out first and middle names for each potential gender, and being that they are sentimental names, they want them exactly without any input from mom.
The "only" problem is, the mom doesn't really like the names they had picked out and has her own wish list for names. She even noted that with her strong accent, she cannot pronounce one of them and is extremely uncomfortable with the whole thing.
"I've responded saying maybe we could come up with some different names together," said the mom and listed her reasons for why.
"They basically said that I can name the next one because Ex knows I want multiple kids, but the thing is there's not really a guarantee I'll have a 'next one,'" she wrote. "Then they basically said there's 2 of them and 1 of me so I'm outvoted. I've responded that I am carrying this baby, I won't be outvoted, and that I am officially saying no to all 4 names. While my main issue was only one of them, I reacted in the moment because I don't appreciate being 'outvoted' on my child's name."
They then called the mom-to-be "unempathetic" because they don't have a chance at conceiving another child. So she wants to know, is she off base for wanting to dismiss all four names and come up with a name together?
People were wholly astonished at the couple's entitlement and were overall concerned for the new mom.
"You're making a big mistake here," cautioned one reader. "They both have no power here. This is your body and your child. She has a nerve to think she can name your child. He left you, and he gets no say either. Name the child what you want and use your surname. Get a lawyer pronto and block them. He is a sperm donor. He should be begging you for things, not dictating to you. I wouldn't be surprised to see them sue for complete custody, as they are two parents and you are alone, and you have given them this power."
Other emphasized her need for legal advice here, and also reminded her that she was the one getting the short end of the stick.
"Did coworker seem to forget that he cheated and she was the one he cheated on you with," asked another. "Apologies aside, neither one of them have any right to ask you for anything, you're doing him a huge favor by considering names from then at all. You owe them nothing."
They also pointed out that she was being treated like an incubator, and needed to be cautious that they didn't try to take away all of her rights as a parent.
But the mom-to-be assured everyone she isn't relinquishing total control. "We are planning to get a formal custody agreement ... "
She said it would address religion, schooling, and similar matters.
"I've made clear there's no way I'm having any kind of informal agreement, this whole thing needs to be done in a legally binding way. We are getting lawyers."
But she also does want to remind everyone that assuming these two stay together, she has to keep it civil for the kid's sake.
"I can put in boundaries, which I am doing, but I cannot go scorched earth because that is not going to be good for my child."
Well said mama, and here's to hoping everyone can come to a reasonable agreement.
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