Pregnancy is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s relationship. There is so much to look forward to and celebrate with family and friends both before the baby is born and after. Many couples opt to do a gender reveal party — where family and friends gather and, with some elaborate measure, find out the sex of the baby. Usually, these are parties and gatherings filled with joy, and that’s why the reaction one mother-in-law had during a couple's big reveal stung so much.
A new Reddit user posted to the JustNoMIL subreddit with a whopper of a story about her MIL.
The woman is pregnant for the first (and only) time, and despite the worldwide shutdown, she still plans to make her pregnancy as special as possible. This included hosting a gender reveal party live on social media, instead of a giant in-person party. She wrote, “Due to the coronavirus pandemic, husband was not allowed to go into room with me during ultrasound that revealed the babies gender. Because of this, we decided to have a reveal to ourselves and share it on Facebook Live.”
According to the Redditor, her mother-in-law was not thrilled with having to find out the gender at the same time as everyone else, so OP and her partner tried to accommodate. “MIL was NOT happy with [this] at all. She kept insisting that we tell her first before revealing to everyone else (she knew we didn’t want to know beforehand),” the mom-to-be wrote.
Adding, “Husband had to finally tell her that this is what we were doing and she had no say in it. We knew that we couldn’t trust her to set up the reveal and she is petty enough to have ruined the surprise for us, so we invited her to our reveal instead of having her watch it on Facebook.”
The woman says that the only person who knew the gender was their cousin, who set up the gender reveal, and MIL would find out at the same time as the parents did.
“We had our ultrasound today and afterwards, stopped by her house on the way to cousin’s house so husband could go to the bathroom,” OP wrote. “While there, she came up to the car to talk to me and started in on our reveal. She told me it was [expletive] and started raising her voice about that’s not how it was done ‘back then.’ I informed her that there is a pandemic going on and we are not allowed to have large gatherings, that if this wasn’t happening, things would be different.”
MIL didn’t seem to grasp that, the woman said, but agreed to go to the reveal on Facebook later that evening. And that’s when things took a turn.
OP said seven people were online to witness the gender reveal, which was a smoke bomb that would go off in either pink or blue.
“Husband and I are on Facebook Live and recording and we light the smoke bombs,” OP shared. “As soon as the blue comes out, she starts yelling ‘No!’ and crying. I’m trying my best to ignore her but can see my sister’s mom giving me a look of ‘what the hell…’.”
Naturally the mom-to-be was hurt by her reaction. “LUCKILY the Facebook Live messed up and the video didn’t record so my family and friends didn’t have to witness her uncalled for meltdown.”
OP says after everyone left, she got a call from her husband’s cousin saying her MIL called her in tears. “MIL had called her and was crying and saying that she wanted a girl and our smoke bombs were wrong.”
After all this happened, the woman says she was legitimately hurt by her MIL’s reaction.
“It truly makes me feel like crap,” she wrote. “This is my first and only pregnancy (husband and I are raising his son from teenage pregnancy and don’t want to go over two children) and she’s really putting a huge damper on it. I have had so much love and support from everyone else in my life and then to have to sour it is insulting. She’s shown me how selfish she really is.”
And what's worse, she feels she's being forced to keep her feelings to herself.
“Husband is tired of me saying anything about it because MIL watches stepson (husband and I are both essential employees) and he doesn’t want me to piss her off to where she won’t watch him while we work,” OP says.
“So now I feel like I have to accept her feelings about MY pregnancy and deal with it, which is unfair.”
Supportive comments filled the thread, letting the OP know her feelings were valid.
“Well MIL, Since you don’t want a boy we’ll just keep our baby boy away from you,” one person commented. “And stepson can go to OP’s mom from now on. Since you have such a hatred of boys. Also try to find a different solution for your stepson, your husband really needs to be on your side with this.”
Another person said, “I’m disappointed that her crazy meltdown wasn’t on display for the rest of the family to see.” Another gave some advice on distancing herself from MIL, writing, “I’d be limiting your contact with her and use whatever excuse you need to so you don’t speak to her and definitely don’t see her face to face. The woman is just going to make life unpleasant and the only way to prevent that is not seeing her or speaking to her.”
Many others chimed in with advice telling OP to talk to her husband. One wrote, “I’m sorry. These two are ruining this pregnancy for you. Both your husband and your MIL. They are holding your pregnancy hostage with the threat of lack of childcare?”
Relationships are hard, and it’s understandable to feel hurt if someone in your life isn’t excited about a new baby entering the world.
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