Welcoming a new baby into the family should always be a celebration, but the circumstances in which a baby arrives can seriously impact the reactions around it. For one grandmom, the situations in which her two daughters conceived couldn't be more different.
The grandmom also had two very different reactions to their pregnancies and says now it's causing a huge divide.
"When my oldest told me she was pregnant, she was still in college, unemployed and the baby's father was refusing to be involved," she explains.
She went on to note that the father is back in their lives and her oldest's family is back together and stable now. However, at the time, it wasn't an ideal situation.
"I was not thrilled," she admitted. "But I provided all the help I could and took care of her. I was having a health crisis at the time so I was very stressed out. I love my grandchild but the birth didn't exactly happen in the happiest of circumstances."
Her youngest daughter announced her pregnancy a few months ago under completely different circumstances.
She has been married for several years, is financially stable, and "clearly" planned this pregnancy.
"I have had zero stress dealing with my daughter's pregnancy this time and I've been generally happier about it," the grandmom confessed. "I was unknowingly proving I was more excited this time around which I have since corrected. I also planned a baby shower for my youngest which I didn't do for my oldest."
Her eldest daughter is "furious," and although the grandmom can understand why, she thinks she should understand the differentiating circumstances.
"She's said some really hurtful things to me and has prevented me from seeing my grandchild, even on the phone. I have already apologized a few times but it hasn't made a difference," she wrote.
Wha's worse is her youngest is now having pregnancy health issues, and everyone is feeling very scared.
"I got a text from my oldest yesterday that if it were her having a health scare during her pregnancy, I would've probably celebrated," she claimed. "I broke down crying because I was so hurt."
People were seriously divided over whether this mom was wrong, the daughter was wrong, or everyone in this situation stunk.
"The oldest imo comes across as ungrateful: it sounds like way more effort to help out your unemployed, pregnant daughter with raising a unwanted child without a father than it does to throw a simple party,"conceded one reader.
Though some still thought the eldest daughter was wrong, they gave her a little more grace.
"I suspect daughter #1 is sad because she's now seeing her sister get the pregnancy that she wishes she could have had and so a lot of emotions are all swirling together and she's focusing them on her mom. It's not fair and she shouldn't be doing that but it is understandable," one person wrote.
However, some say grandmom is definitely in the wrong.
One reader flat-out called it "terrible" that the grandmom didn't plan a baby shower for her oldest daughter but is planning one for the youngest.
"And that is probably just one of many ways that your different feelings for the two pregnancies showed," that person wrote. "Your oldest is playing dirty with her comments about her sister's health issues and withholding the grandchild. I'm curious if your apology was a heartfelt and earnest one. Or it was more of a 'I'm sorry, but …' I hope you guys can work it out. It sounds like there needs to be a good heart to heart conversation."
