Becoming a new parent for the first time is exciting and scary and everything in between. But one thing they don't exactly warn you about? Just how irritating it is when people don't respect your boundaries — and worse, when you feel like they're putting your kid at risk. That's precisely what one woman on Reddit is dreading after learning her mother-in-law is extremely anti-vax. So much so, that she said she won't be getting vaccinated for the coronavirus once it becomes available — something that's left the mom-to-be worried for the safety of her unborn baby.
The topic came up last week, while her husband was talking to his mother on speaker phone.
They were discussing what to do for the upcoming Mother's Day weekend, and the conversation was more or less light. That is, until her husband mentioned that they'd have to follow social distancing guidelines when they met up.
His mom scoffed at the suggestion, before throwing out a real whopper of a comment.
"Well I can just Lysol myself and then hug you!" she allegedly told her son.
The couple had been secretly planning to spill their baby news on the upcoming holiday, so hearing that the MIL wasn't really taking social distancing rules seriously was kind of alarming. Especially for the mom-to-be.
But it seems that her husband was just as taken aback as she was, telling his mom, "It doesn't work like that."
That wasn't the only alarming comment she dropped, though.
She also claimed that if and when there's a vaccine for Covid-19, she won't be getting it.
"I think my brain came to a screeching halt," the Reddit poster admitted. "She doesn't know about the baby yet, but you can bet your sweet patooti that you will have ALL of you vaccinations during flu season before you come within 10 feet of my child. Especially if there is one for Covid19 by then."
It was quite the moment to learn that your MIL is an anti-vaxxer — but considering how contagious and deadly the virus is, the news was particularly concerning.
Now, she's not quite sure what to do.
"Guys I'm just floored," she admitted. "My hubs switched the topic pretty quickly, probably due to the look on my face, but my GOSH who wouldn’t get a vaccine to the worst viral outbreak of our generation??? Why? I really would like to know the logic behind that … any ideas as to WHY someone would think like that?"
A lot of people on Reddit agreed this was a touchy subject -- and they didn't envy her for having to deal with it.
"Agree, with your whole reaction," one person wrote. "For your own good and now your baby, please be careful. It is selfish of the MIL to think that everyone has to be around her and be exposed."
Still, the commenters reminded her that she makes the rules when it comes to her child — and she shouldn't feel uncomfortable about being honest with them.
"Just letting you know that I told all the grandparents that if they wanted to meet our children before they were 6 months old they needed their TDAP/DTAP," one person wrote. "I said it nicely as we're all on good terms. Everyone was good with it."
"She can choose not to get vaccinated," one person wrote, but "you can choose not to have unvaccinated people around your child. She will throw a fit. Your innocent, defenseless child is counting on you to make the right choice."
Others wondered aloud where this kind of vaccine skepticism really comes from.
"Vaccines don't make people sick, they have worked for generations and right now we need a new one badly," one person argued.
"Sounds like MIL needs to stop watching fake news," another wrote. "Stand your ground. Gray rock. No vaccines, no visits with delicate little babies. Sorry 'bout her luck on that one."
Most people urged her to be honest and open about her feelings, because otherwise, it could backfire.
"Beware," added another person. "I've read stories on here about falsified vax records so grandmas can get their way."
(Yikes.)
Others tried to play devil's advocate, just to put things in perspective.
"To be fair when we had an outbreak of swine flu a few years ago in my state my mother refused to allow us to get those vaccines because the testing was so rushed and she didn’t feel that it was safe for us to have it," one person commented. "But refusing to get all vaccines out of some stupid delusion that they cause serious injury or will give you some kind of random genetic or autoimmune disease is just ridiculous."
Ultimately, the mom-to-be said she would definitely be having a one-on-one with her MIL about this --- just not yet.
"We plan on having that conversation a little ways down the road," the woman later commented. "I'm actually waiting until my doctor gives me some documents for necessary vaccinations before bringing it up so hopefully it gets taken more seriously."
Here's hoping!
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