If anything, the recent murder of George Floyd, a man in Minnesota who died while in police custody, is sparking much-needed conversations right now. Floyd's death, along with other upsetting recent events including a viral video showing Christian Cooper having the police called on him in Central Park for simply asking a woman to leash her dog, are painful reminders that things are very different for Americans who are black. So it should be no surprise that dad Shola Richards of California knows this all too well. In a heartbreaking essay to raise awareness for what he goes through daily as a black man in this country, the father of two revealed that he refuses to walk around his neighborhood without one of his daughters or dog present. "Without them by my side, almost instantly, I morph into a threat in the eyes of some white folks," he explained.
Now more than ever, we all know that those quarantine walks are crucial.
In a post that he published on his Facebook page that has been shared over 39,000 times and has amassed over 20,000 likes, Richards explained that he's been trying to walk twice a day, but always with his dog, Ace, or one of his two daughters in tow.
It should be simple. But it isn't.
In fact, Richards holds a painful secret.
"I would be scared to death to take these walks without my girls and my dog," he wrote. "In fact, in the four years living in my house, I have never taken a walk around my neighborhood alone (and probably never will)."
He knows some people will think he's being "melodramatic."
Or worse, accuse him of "playing the race card" — "but this is my reality."
"When I'm walking down the street holding my young daughter's hand and walking my sweet fluffy dog, I'm just a loving dad and pet owner taking a break from the joylessness of crisis homeschooling," he explained.
But without them, the 6-foot 2-inch "athletically built black man in a cloth mask" is a threat "walking around in a place where he doesn’t belong" to his white neighbors. "Even though, I'm still the same guy who just wants to take a walk through his neighborhood," he added.
He explained that it's "equal parts exhausting and depressing to feel like I can't walk around outside alone, for fear of being targeted."
"We live in a world where there is a sizable amount of people who actually believe that racism isn't a thing, and that White Privilege is a made-up fantasy to be politically-correct," he explained. "Yes, even despite George Floyd, Christian Cooper, Ahmaud Arbery, and Breonna Taylor (and countless other examples before them, and many to come afterward), some people still don't seem to get it."
"So, let me share some common sense points," he wrote.
The first is that having white privilege doesn't mean that your life isn't hard.
"It simply means that your skin color isn't one of the things contributing to your life difficulties," he explained. "Case in point, if it never crossed your mind that you could have the cops called on you (or worse, possibly killed) for simply bird watching [like Christian Cooper] then know that is a privilege that many black/brown people (myself included) don't currently enjoy."
Two, if your first response to "Black Lives Matter" is to counter with "All Lives Matter," think twice.
That's because "it's insensitive, tone-deaf and dumb," he wrote. "All lives can't matter until black lives matter."
Three, "Racism is very real, and please don't delude yourself into thinking it's limited to the fringes of the hardcore MAGA crowd," he continued. "As Amy Cooper proved, it's just as prevalent in liberal America as it is anywhere else."
Four, racism is real. Reverse racism is not.
"Please don't use that term, ever," he wrote.
Five, if racism is going to get better "white allies are absolutely critical."
"If you're white and you've read this far, hopefully you care enough to be one of those allies," he added. "Please continue to speak up (despite some of your friends and family rolling their eyes at you), because your voices matter to [People of Color] now more than ever."
And six, if you're white and you're staying silent "then I honestly don't know what to say."
"If these atrocities won't get you to speak up, then honestly, what will?" he continued.
"If you aren't willing to take a stand against actions that could get me hurt or killed, it's hard to believe that you ever cared about me (or my mission to create a kinder world) in the first place," he added.
Richards ends his post by saying that for now, he's decided to continue walking with his 8-year-old daughter or small dog.
"In hopes that she'll continue to keep her daddy safe from harm," he wrote.
If that sounds wrong or backward to you, it is.
"But that's the world that we’re living in these days," he wrote.
The response to his post was overwhelmingly supportive.
"I'm sorry this is your reality," one commenter wrote. "Thank you for your honesty. It is way past time for your reality to be different. This country, this world has let so many PoC down a change is long overdue."
"I am so sorry that because of the way this country is right now, you can't feel safe walking in your own neighborhood," a second person commented. "My thoughts go out to you. Black lives do matter!"
One woman shared that this is exactly what her husband does too.
"This is so real," she wrote. "My husband told me yesterday, 'I'm gonna go for a walk around the block' and my first thought was, take one of the kids with you. For this same reason, with the kids he is seen as a loving dad, without them he is seen as a threat. It's just not fair."
Richards told Today that he wrote the post because he was exasperated.
"The recent news stories of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Christian Cooper, and George Floyd broke me, emotionally," he explained to the news show. "As a black man, hearing about these stories over and over again, it felt like 'death by a thousand paper cuts.'"
"It honestly felt soul-destroying," he continued. "I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping well, and I was losing significant weight. Many of my very well-meaning white friends were unable to understand the depths of my grief, so I wanted to put my own experiences in writing in hopes that it could be useful to them, and cathartic for me."
But it did more than allow him to release. His story has proven to inspire some real change.
"Many people said that they were inspired to take action to be active allies because of what they read in my post," he explained.
"I'm all about positive change, and if this post played a small role in helping people to share more kindness, empathy and love with their fellow humans, regardless of race, then I would be thrilled," he added.
Speaking out might not change the racist world his daughters live in, but it might help.
He said it "breaks his heart" that he can neither protect nor prevent his daughter from true racism. But that won't stop him from speaking out because there's always the chance he can make things better for them. And he's asking white people who want to make a change to speak up now too.
"Not being a racist is not good enough," he said. "We need as many good white people as possible who are actively standing in opposition of racism."
