The sad fact is the mortality rate for pregnant woman is high, especially in the US. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: "Since the Pregnancy Mortality Surveillance System was implemented (1987), the number of reported pregnancy-related deaths in the United States steadily increased from 7.2 deaths per 100,000 live births in 1987 to 16.9 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2016."
There are a lot of women who had arduous and potentially fatal deliveries, and sometimes, they have to make a choice: themselves or their baby. One mom was sadly forced to make this decision when the birth got complicated.
The woman said she and her husband got unexpectedly pregnant but were happy to be welcoming a baby boy.
After a relatively "OK" pregnancy, she said when it was time to give birth, it was just her and her husband, and things took a turn for the worst.
"Unfortunately, due to complications during the birth, it came down to either my life or the [baby's], and I, terrified for my life, told the nurses to fix the complication first (it's very rare) and then try to save the baby," she said.
Her decision had some devastating consequences.
"I had to undergo emergency surgery, but in doing so, resulted in the loss of my beautiful baby," she sadly reported. "In the moment, my husband and I were both okay with my decision and grateful that I survived, but upset over the loss of our child."
Upon returning home, the woman says her family and friends were extremely supportive and helped them in their grieving process -- but others weren't.
"But his parents were furious," she said. "They said that I was a horrible woman and was a terrible mother for letting my child die. His mother specifically said that she would give her life for her children and that I was a selfish, cold hearted [expletive]."
Her in-laws' attitudes tooka huge toll on her and her husband -- but in very different ways.
"This made me feel even worse about my choice and I became very depressed," she admitted.
"During this time, my husband began to turn on me and said that he wasn't sure if he wanted to create a family with someone who didn't care about her children. He says that what I did was selfish and that he doesn't trust me anymore. I feel so alone, even with the support of my family."
Now she's second guessing if she is a good person after what she decided to do during the birth.
People were horrified that anyone would make this woman feel bad for her choice.
"Honestly I am so sorry you had to go through this and I am sorry for your loss," wrote one user. "But choosing to save your own life is in no way a bad choice. And if your husband would rather you had died giving birth, I think you should seriously reconsider your marriage."
Others noted that the particular cruelty from her MIL suggests she may have an "ulterior motive."
"She would have preferred your child to have no mother? For your husband to have no wife? For your family to lose their daughter?" questioned one commenter.
"She's the selfish one. It sounds to me like she is bitter because if your husband lost you then she could have stepped up and played mother to the child," the person continued. "You're a person, you're not just an incubator to provide children to your MIL or your husband. You can always have more babies, but no one can replace YOU in your child's life. Given the same choice, I would choose the same."
We hope this mama can find a way to heal and get the support she needs and deserves to have around her.
