Being pregnant is quite the experience. For some, it can feel like losing control because your body feels so different from what you're used to. Hormones take over and it can feel foreign at times. For some, these hormones mean more emotions than usual, and crying isn't uncommon.
One dad-to-be took to Reddit to get some support after his pregnant wife called him out for being insensitive.
Posting in Reddit's AITA channel, an anonymous dad-to-be, the OP, sought support. He started his post off saying. "I don't know why, but I have always felt super uncomfortable around people that are crying," the dad started his post off. "It makes my skin crawl. I don't judge them or look down on them for crying, but I immediately feel like I need to get away."
"Thankfully this has never been an issue in our relationship," he continued. "My wife doesn't cry often, and usually when she does it is quick and then it's over. Since she became pregnant this has changed in both respects. It feels like she cries at least once a day, and it usually lasts several minutes."
And her crying has made him uncomfortable and he doesn't know what to do with it.
"I have tried to intervene a few times, but when she is upset it does no good," he explained. "The problem isn't really fixable in most cases, and trying to comfort her makes no difference."
So, he thought it would be a better idea to just leave the room instead.
"After that I started quietly leaving the room and letting her get it out of her system," OP said. "She didn't say anything at first, but now she tells me that she feels so alone when I do this and like I don't care about her at all. She has openly wondered what I am going to do with our baby and her if she continues to feel down post birth."
He didn't have an answer for that, but said he'd do his best.
"I don't know the answer exactly," he explained. "I know that I have to step up for the baby, and I believe I will. I can't say beyond that."
OP said that he's had a discussion with his wife to "remind her" that "there's nothing I can do or say so she would have to work through this by herself anyway."
"But she seems to think that having me [there] for emotional support might make a difference," he added. "I sympathize with her, but I don't think she is recognizing my feelings either. She is putting me in a situation where it makes me so uncomfortable."
Yes, his response was that she's making hum uncomfortable, and that's not OK?!
"I told my wife that I can't guarantee I won't leave the room in the future when she cries but she told me that if I did I was effectively the a–hole," he said.
Adding, "We all have our issues and things that make us uncomfortable. I can't see how something that genuinely makes me feel bad and that causes this situation would make me the a–hole."
He asked the community if he was the one in the wrong here, and the community let him have it.
"YTA," one person answered back. "Dude, your wife is dealing with raging hormones carrying your baby. You need therapy or something if you seriously can't stay in the room with a crying person. She brings up a valid point: if she gets postpartum depression, are you just gonna dip? Are you also aware that babies cry a lot?"
"YTA," another agreed. "Frankly if you can't handle your wife crying for no reason you damn sure won’t be able to handle the baby crying for no reason."
"YTA, this isn't a personality trait or a phobia it's an immaturity," answered another user. "It is very reasonable to expect you to work on it and be able to functionally comfort your wife."
"YTA. Comfort your wife," someone else suggested. "There's probably nothing you can actually say to make her stop crying in the moment, but she's not asking you to fix it, just be there."
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