In the United States about 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. One of the most aggressive ways to remove the cancer is to undergo a mastectomy, which many women opt for as a failsafe against future growths. For one mom who discovered she had breast cancer during her second pregnancy, a mastectomy was the best choice. Because she isn't a fan of surgery, she opted to skip breast implants. Although that shouldn't be an issue that concerns anyone other than her, apparently her SIL feels differently.
The mom says that following her mastectomy, she purchased prosthetic breasts to wear under outfits when she felt it was "necessary."
"I found wearables that were the size I used to be," she explained. "I have three that are cheaper and for more everyday wear, and two that are much higher quality and for occasions that I would need it to look more seamless. I wear them most weekdays and to make outfits look better, but sometimes I don't wear them if they would get in the way or be a problem. Point is, I can basically choose when I have boobs and when I don't."
She went on to explain that her son and nephew are on the same soccer team, and that's when the "trouble" began.
"They had a practice at way to early o'clock," she explained (sidenote: relatable). "I was busy getting out the door and decided that my chest was just one too many things to do. My sister in law came up to me at the practice steaming about my looks. She was angry with me for not having my prosthetic on."
According to her SIL, not wearing her breast prosthetics was far too confusing for everyone else.
"In her mind, I was giving all of the (family) kids the idea that you can just 'take off your tits' if you're not interested, which will give girls the wrong idea about puberty and make the boys less sympathetic if they think it's a choice(?)," she wrote.
"I'm apparently also making people 'think I'm trans/that my husband and I are gay' (paraphrased). Ok one, it was early and I had kids to deal with. Two, I can just explain reality if they even notice. I didn't even know what to say to that last part without being vulgar because I am clearly female with children that came out of me, so, you know."
The worst part? The family seems to agree.
"I've talked to some other people in the family and they say that while she went about it the wrong way, I should 'be consistent' with how I look so the kids don't get confused," she wrote. "My husband says he doesn't care either way."
So she asked the internet to decide: Was she wrong for the way she presented herself?
People were appalled at the family over this.
"You went through a [expletive] mastectomy and people think this is what you need to worry about," one flabbergasted user wondered. "It's completely inappropriate to even be analysing your chest for inconsistencies nevermind passing comments on it — if they're getting questions from their kids then that's the answer they should be giving them. My boobs look completely different depending on what bra I choose that day, if I'm even wearing one, and the kids haven't lost their minds over it yet. Some people have too much time on their hands. You do whatever the h–l makes you comfortable and let everyone else deal with it!"
Others assured her it was normal to do with her prosthetics as she pleased.
"This has me raging," commented another person. "Breast cancer runs in my family and one relative would alternate and nobody gave her [expletive] for it. It's your body. Also, if the kids have questions about the boobs coming and going, it's a conversation that can be had about breast cancer and prosthetics. I honestly don't think the age mentioned is too young for some version of that conversation."
Hopefully this survivor has a long talk with her in-laws and lays down some good boundaries.
