Laura Cobb always knew she wanted to be a mother. "There is nothing I would rather be than a mom," she tells CafeMom. "Nothing. When I was 7 years old I knew I wanted to be a mommy." But when she and her husband James, a man she says was "made to be a dad," started trying to create a family, they found themselves beginning a long and painful journey with infertility.
The couple, who live in North Carolina, eventually decided to pursue adoption as an option to build the family they yearned for. The adoption process is long and complex, and there is no guarantee of a happy ending, but the Cobb's had faith their journey would be worth it.
The adoption process led the couple to have intense conversations about who their future child might be and what potential challenges they might face.
As Laura explains: "When you go through the process of adoption, you have to be super honest with yourself and your partner. This is a life-changing thing, but the way that James and I approached it was that if we were to have a biological child, all of these things were things that could happen with a biological child. So we checked all the boxes … whatever that looked like, it didn’t matter."
When it came to adopting a child who might have been medically fragile or with complicated circumstances, the couple was clear: they were simply not going to say no and risk "missing out on our child."
Three hours away from the Cobbs, a tiny baby was in the NICU at Atrium Health Levine Children’s Hospital, fighting for her life.
Little Evelyn Joy’s life got off to a rough start. An infection at birth led to fetal distress and soon the baby was facing complications, including pulmonary hypertension and kidney failure. She was placed on a heart/lung bypass machine.
According to the hospital, it was unclear if she would survive her first week or what the long-term prognosis was in terms of her health and development. A team of medical professionals became Team Evelyn, dedicated to giving the best care to whom the hospital deemed the "sickest baby in the NICU."
The sickest baby in the NICU needed the expert care of the hospital staff. She also needed a family.
Two days before Mother’s Day 2021, the Cobb family got a phone call from the adoption agency, letting them know that there was a baby available, but also making sure that they understood that the baby was 10 days old and sick in the NICU.
For some prospective families, the challenge of navigating a baby in the NICU, three hours from home, during a global pandemic, might have been too daunting to consider. For Laura and James, there was no hesitation. As Laura recounts, anxiety about COVID "didn't even really cross my mind, only because we were just ready for whatever was the circumstance. Whatever the Lord had for us, we were ready."
Laura packed her bags and prepared for the next stage of her journey into motherhood: becoming a NICU mom.
For Laura, and many other would-be parents dealing with infertility, Mother’s Day was a day that could be painful. But Mother’s Day 2021 found her in the NICU, getting to know her baby girl. As delighted as she was to be celebrating her first Mother’s Day as a mama, Laura acknowledges, "NICU is a lot. Being in the NICU is exhausting, but where else would I be?"
In the NICU, Laura got to meet the doctors and nurses who were part of Team Evelyn and begin to plan for a life with the baby she’d dreamed of, and hoped and prayed for. "I feel like I was a mom long before Evelyn came along. I loved her and prayed for her long before she was in my arms."
From the NICU to a lifetime of love.
Although Laura was prepared that Evelyn might have a lengthy stay in the NICU, baby Evelyn had other ideas. In less than a month, 29 days to be exact, she was ready to go home with Laura and James. She’s now an adorable 1-year-old who is already walking and is, according to her proud parents, "loved beyond measure."
In the last year, Laura has also had the opportunity to meet Evelyn’s birth mother, a woman she describes as, "One of the loveliest people I have ever met. She is an exceptional person."
We all know that there are many roads to motherhood, and Laura’s story is one example of how motherhood really starts with love. As she reflects on her own journey, she sums up the motherhood experience simply and profoundly: "However you became a mama, it doesn’t matter. It’s a beautiful club to be a part of."
