One of the largest parenting challenges mothers face is instilling confidence in their children. It can be especially daunting when you're a Black or POC parent, and it feels like the world at large is working overtime to put BIPOC children down. Representation in media, be it movies, TV, or books are some integral tools for parents, and helps "prove" to kids that loving themselves just as they are, no matter what outside forces try to convince them of, is more than possible. And it is imperative that from the youngest of ages children start learning these self-love lesson.
This is the basic inspiration behind Ruth Forman's books Curls and upcoming story Glow — two children's stories that aim to affirm and celebrate Black hair, skin, and culture. For Forman, the gap in young children's books that specifically celebrated Black and curly hair was too wide, so she made it her mission to close that gap.
Forman's inspiration for 'Curls' came on the heels of an incident with her own daughter.
"At around age 3 or 4, my daughter came home from a less diverse school saying she didn’t like her curly hair and wished she had straight hair," Forman reveals to CafeMom. "She also expressed that straight hair and light skin was better than curly hair and brown skin. I was shocked. I knew she’d have to deal with these pressures at some point in her life, but I didn’t realize that it could happen so soon. Other mothers of friends expressed the same thing and, among other things, we immediately turned to literature to give our daughters something that reflected and celebrated their identity."
And as someone who personally never experienced any shame about her own hair, she wanted to nip the issue in the bud.
"The literature was so important," she emphasized. "We found a few helpful gems, but I saw the gaps in the early literature. This was a few years ago, when there was less out there than today. I was a writer already working on children’s literature, so I recommitted to write stories for children of color and especially girls of color that would celebrate identity and reinforce self-love especially for this age group (though I think all ages can enjoy them). Curls is intended to be the first in a series for these young readers, celebrating identity and self-love around hair and skin color for children of color and for all children to enjoy. Glow is the next in the series and it comes out in May."
For members of the Black community, hair is a huge part of identity, and it is something Forman wanted young kids to get a grasp of early on.
Because the truth is, what isn't there to love about it?
"I love the versatility of Black hair," Forman states. "It can be styled so many ways. Whether curly or straight and no matter the texture. And a beautiful thing is that if you love Black hair it will love you back."
It's something Forman believes is the responsibility of parents to instill as soon as possible.
"I’ll share here too, that another mom gave me some great advice when my daughter was very young, maybe around six months," Forman tells CafeMom. "This was to very softly brush her scalp with a baby hairbrush so she would get used to the experience, so that when her hair came in thicker later, it would be something she was already used to. That was helpful. My daughter has always loved our hair time. And often when she was small, we would switch places and she would pretend to style my hair just like I did hers."
Instilling that love also takes parents doing the work to remove their own internalized biases they may harbor, due to not having that early access to a self-love tool kit.
While tools like Forman's own work are helpful aids, she insists it really comes from parents first.
"Letting their children know that their hair is beautiful," is one of the first impactful moves a parent can make, according to Forman. "All textures. And spending quality time together while doing their hair. But this already is in the tradition, sharing and telling stories together during this time. These are some of my favorite moments. I’m sure some favorite moments for readers here too. And of course, to love their children’s hair. Perhaps that means some extra research for those that might need it. But the information is out there. And this too, is a labor of love."
Forman hopes that both children and parents will get something out of her illustrative story.
The main things she hopes parents will understand is "that Black hair and curly hair is naturally beautiful in lots of ways, and that they see themselves and people like they know experiencing joy just being who they are."
She adds: "I’d love for the children to feel a sense of joy, celebration, self-worth, and self-love when they read this book. And a true appreciation for themselves and for others. I’d also love for them to feel that sense of love and community when we come together. We have that in life throughout our experience, but I don’t think it’s reflected enough yet in early literature."
Add this gem to your child's library ASAP.
$8.99
from
Harriet's Bookshop
Though the goal of this book is to celebrate and revel in the beauty of Black hair, that doesn't mean only parents of Black children should look into it. Children of all races and ethnicities need to celebrate what makes people different, and the more we expose them to that truth, the better chance we have of truly making this world a better, more equitable place.
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