The notion that co-parenting is hard should come as no surprise. If two people couldn’t figure out how to make a relationship work, it stands to reason that there might be differences in opinion about how you raise your child collectively and separately.
But more than working together with your child’s other parent, there are additional challenges that come along with children living in multiple households. One TikTok dad opened up about these difficulties in a video that has since gone viral.
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Angel said his ex is not the problem, his emotions are.
Angel Gutierrez is a single dad raising his daughter Penelope, in California. He separated from her mother around the time Penelope was 2 years old, according to his interview with Father’s Fire podcast. Thankfully, he and his ex are still friends. But for Angel, the biggest obstacle in co-parenting is loneliness.
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Angel's TikTok that spoke to this loneliness went viral with over 6 million views.
He documented his feelings on TikTok. In the video, Angel shows himself walking into an apartment full of children’s toys strewn across the floor. The text over the video reads, “POV: You coparent and just dropped off your kid with her mom.”
In the background, the sentimental “Beauty of Pixar” plays as Angel cleans the apartment, putting all of his daughter’s toys away. At the end, he lays down in the bed, melancholy, before switching the light out.
'I wish for peace and quiet … but then I hate it when I have it,' Angel explained in his caption.
In the caption for the TikTok, Angel writes: “I think the hardest part of coparenting (for me) is dropping off my daughter with her mom and coming home to silence. Of course when she’s rowdy and loud, I wish for peace and quiet, as does every parent when they’re overwhelmed. But then I hate when i have it.” Several men in the comments opened up about experiencing the same thing.
'2 happy homes is better than 1 toxic home!' one user wrote.
“Been doing this for a little over a year and each time I drop my kids off (3 of them) and get home later on in the night to an empty house I cry,” one dad wrote. Another user confessed that while they had been co-parenting for years, the feeling of loneliness doesn’t get easier. But they offered encouragement. “Just know 2 happy homes is better than 1 toxic home! Proud of you.”
Angel said therapy has helped him in this journey.
On the Father’s Fire podcast, Angel said that through posting this TikTok, he learned, “You’re not alone. You’re not the only one struggling. There’s a ton of people you can reach out to. And I appreciate you reaching out to me.”
Angel said his own internal battles have been the hardest to overcome in this journey. Because men don’t often open up to one another about their deepest emotions, Angel sought professional help.
“Honestly I started going to therapy,” he wrote in the comments. “I think a lot of men should too! Don’t let pride get in the way of bettering yourself.”
