Kids are expensive, and saving for their big moments isn't as easy as we'd like it to be. If we had endless money, we'd give our kids the world, but hoping they're safe and as healthy as possible are far bigger issues parents worry about. And sometimes we're not able to afford everything they want, and that's a reality of life.
One dad had to explain to his teen son that he wasn't going to pay for his college of choice, and he took to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong for the boundary he set.
Posting in Reddit's AITA, an anonymous father sought the help of the community and shared a situation he and his family found themselves in. "My(45m) daughter(14f), who we're gonna call tia, got into an accident two years ago," he shared. "I'm not going to get too much into it, but it was horrible, traumatic and resulted in a below the knee amputation."
He said watching his daughter go through all that pain and "I being practically helpless drove me to pursue a lawsuit against the folks responsible."
That was two years ago, and now the lawsuit has been settled.
"Well now two years later, we've won a hefty amount of money," he said. "We were on our way home, and my son(17m) (we're gonna call him jack) decides to call his friend. My son has always wanted to go yale, but honestly, he doesn't have the work ethic and I don't have the money," he added.
He explained that he's always been honest with his son that an Ivy League college wasn't something he could afford, but he would pay for state college.
It seems his son missed the memo on that, and the dad overheard a phone call his son was having.
"So my son calls his friend and says 'hey man! guess whose going to yale!'. And started going on about now that we got all this money, he can go anywhere he wants," the dad shared with Reddit.
"I waited until after his call because I didn't want to embarrass him, but I told him that the money wasn't ours," he said. "My wife and I have always planned to pay off the fees for the lawsuit and put the money in an account for my daughter when she turns 18."
He explained that his daughter was the only one involved in the accident and explained it "would feel wrong for us to benefit" off her accident and the trauma she experienced. "And it's technically her money."
He explained this to his son, who didn't like what he heard.
"Well, I told my son this, and he got very angry," he said. "He called Tia an idiotic cr-pple and said she doesn't deserve the money, while she was in the car. That made me angry and I was going to punish him (taking his phone away or something like that) but my wife asked me to wait until he calms down because right now he's just upset," he said.
The dad made an edit to the post to say that the whole family were in therapy after the accident, and Tia received her own therapy as well. He shared that she is "almost back to normal" and his daughter is able to walk and care for herself pretty well. "She's still in physical therapy and regular therapy because she has [survivor's] guilt," he wrote.
The dad said his son called him out, and he wanted to ask Reddit for opinions – on whether he was in the wrong – and there were plenty of replies.
"NTA," one person replied. "Money from an accident lawsuit like that should be set aside or used for medical needs for the person that was harmed. Who knows what additional needs your daughter may have in the future, some of which may not be covered by insurance at that point … This is her fund."
"NTA," another agreed. "Your son needs a good talking to – he's way out of line. He's got no right to profit from his sister's misery."
"NTA & sounds like an opportunity to check your kids attitude," wrote another. "He’s a bit old to be throwing tantrums & being so disrespectful to family… It’s a good learning/teaching opportunity for the family."
"NTA I think he sees the lawsuit money the wrong way," suggested another commenter. "As if her accident was an excuse to get money. Also did he get into Yale or was just expecting to? You are right to keep it for her, and his language towards her is horribly rude. And the bragging is so not cool. Trying to buy your way into a college is gross."
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