A TikTok video showing a mom unpacking a car, carrying bags, getting the kids out, and then tripping — while the dad stands by idly — has gone viral and gives new meaning to the phrase “Her hands are full.” In the video, the mom is seen holding several bags with a toddler standing next to her and attempting to get another child out of a car seat while the father stands nearby looking at his phone, oblivious to her needing any help. He doesn't intervene until she trips over one of the children and falls backward onto the driveway.
The video, posted by a user who goes by @angy_catalano, has been viewed more than 33 million times and received over 24,000 comments. It seemed to resonate with many moms who are also the default parents in their families, a situation described by many as being a “married single mom.”
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This mom had her hands full and this dad was standing by doing nothing.
Any mom who has taken multiple children out in public can tell you how much strangers love to comment about how they "have their hands full." But the sad part about watching this video is that this mom very evidently had her hands full while the father of the children, not a stranger, is just standing nearby looking at his phone and not helping.
In the TikTok video, the mother is seen carrying two full and very large bags on each shoulder while trying to unload a small child from a car seat with a toddler right on her heels while the father stands right next to her with two free hands carrying nothing except his phone, and then she trips. When she trips she starts screaming, "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Is she Ok?!" The dad heads straight to the toddler and says, "She's OK."
Parenting is a two-person job, and many mothers are shouldering it alone while the fathers are present but inattentive.
Sadly, this mother is not the only one shouldering the majority of the parenting responsibilities. Many women and mothers have taken to TikTok and other social media platforms to share about the many unseen tasks mothers do that fathers often aren't aware of. Those tasks include such things as scheduling doctor's appointments, registering for activities, researching parenting topics, replacing items kids wear out or outgrow like shoes and clothes, and planning parties, family vacations, and other events. Honestly, the list is nearly endless.
Even if you look at the more visible work moms do such as child care and household tasks, moms are still often doing more than dads. A report by the Pew Research Center showed that mothers take on more household chores and responsibilities, with 41% of cohabiting parents agreeing that was the case in their homes and just 8% saying the father does more.
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Research shows moms ‘burnout’ levels are at an all-time high.
Ideally, parents raising kids together would share parenting and household tasks equally, but work schedules and other factors can often make a 50-50 split of labor very hard to achieve. Even so, dads stepping up to take something, anything, off a mom's plate could still help with the burnout many mothers experience.
A study done in collaboration with Eve Rodsky, Berlin Cameron and Kantar in 2022 found that 68% of women had experienced burnout in the past week compared to only 50% of men, per Forbes. Although many factors can contribute to parental burnout such as how many children you have, how old they are, and other factors, having help from a partner and co-parent can make a huge difference.
TikTok users called out this dad for his lazy behavior.
TikTok users were furious that this dad waited to intervene until his wife had tripped over one of their kids while holding the other and several bags before stepping in to help.
One person pointed out that the dad was on his phone while the mom was unloading everything alone and that he still never put it away even when he finally had to step in. “And that phone never left his hand. Also sir why is she doing everything. .”
“So moms carrying both bags and a baby, and he’s just carrying his phone, makes sense” another TikToker commented.
Many others pointed out that even if the dad is technically present, if the mom is doing all the parenting work alone, she’s technically a “married single mom.”
One person commented, “So she’s a single mom,” and another user wrote, “Looks like a married single mom to me.”
