A mother of five has gone viral on TikTok for sharing a time-lapse video of her cleaning up a horrifically messy house her now ex-husband didn’t clean while she was working 10-hour shifts six days in a row. Various rooms in the house are seen overflowing with clothes, toys, food, and trash. The TikTok user, Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on the app, highlights a problem all too many mothers and wives are familiar with: an inattentive partner.
Bandy’s video struck a chord with many fellow mothers who either sympathized with the situation or cheered her on for leaving her husband. The video has been viewed more than 7 million times and has received more than 16,000 comments.
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She worked six 10-hour days in a row, and no one can blame her for wanting a divorce after seeing this video.
Bandy's video started with the text overlay reading, “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day. / I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here but as you can see / These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here.”
She proceeds to show every room in the house covered with piles of clutter, trash, food, and laundry. It's all over the kitchen, living room, dining room, and bedrooms. Honestly, the fact that a capable adult — especially a parent — would let their house get this messy while their spouse was working is unfathomable.
Bandy goes on to share that her soon-to-be-ex husband claimed he couldn’t watch the kids while he had homework during the summer session of school, but the text caption on her video reads, “Now that school is out for break he doesn’t have that excuse anymore.”
Sadly, he hasn't used his extra time to do much around the house, because, as Bandy continues, “every single day I’ve gotten home from work I’ve been met with one disaster or another caused by inattentive parenting.”
Her video highlights the unequal household labor that working moms often deal with when partners don’t step up.
Bandy’s video seemed to strike a major chord with other mothers and women because, as heartbreaking as it is, she isn’t the only one with a partner who isn’t doing their share of the household work. Women reportedly spend 47 minutes more on housework tasks daily than men, which adds up to five and a half hours per week — and that’s not including errands, per the Washington Post.
Other research and studies have shown an even more disproportionate gap in household chores between men and women. A study conducted by the Pew Research Center on gender gaps in household responsibilities shows that 59% of women say they do more household work than their spouse or partner. And when it concerns other tasks related to family management, such as planning kids' activities and schedules, 74% of mothers say they do more than their spouse or partner.
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She posted a follow-up video and noted she was finally able to move out, but she is still cleaning her ex’s house because she loves her kids.
The mother posted a video update earlier this month, stating that two months ago she was able to move out of the house she was living in with her ex, but she is still seen cleaning the same house.
In her follow-up video, Bandy states, “I left this house two months ago / And in that time, I have been told I’m not welcome to come here anymore.” She continued, “Yesterday though, I got to come in and help clean / This room has not been cleaned at all since I moved out.”
Bandy explained, “You might ask why I’m doing this if it’s his home / Because no matter where my children are spending time… / They deserve a clean, functional space.”
We have to applaud a mother who cares for her children this way.
Fellow parents have responded with support for her on TikTok.
Many fellow mothers and parents responded with support and empathy on Bandy’s video.
One user commented, “Being a single parent while married is the worst. I’m glad you’re changing that for yourself and the kids.”
“I am so so SO proud of you. I don't know why this made me want to cry," another person wrote. "I'm struggling with this right now too.”
“In the chaos, you've created calm and safe places (while parenting). he isn't enough — for you or the kids. you deserve a partner," another commenter shared.
