The Delta Variant Is a Mom With Anxiety’s Worst Nightmare

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Since the pandemic began in March of 2020, I’ve been living in constant fear. I feel as though I’ve been in and out of prison. My family and I live in the south of Italy, where up until this past May, we were on some sort of on and off lockdown for 15 months. It has truly been one of the most challenging periods of my life, especially as a mother of a rambunctious toddler and especially as a mother who suffers from anxiety.

My family recently received their vaccines, and next month I am set to get my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine. This has given me more hope and optimism for the future. I finally have started to feel more at ease to get back to doing everyday things and could begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But with the news circulating of the new Delta variant, I fear I may start to go backward.

Initially, reports have shown that the Delta variant is more dangerous and more deadly.

The variant, originally identified in India, is a more contagious version of the coronavirus. It has spread to at least 77 countries and now counts for more than 20% of all US cases. But should we be truly worried, especially those of us who have been vaccinated?

Here is what is important to consider: Yes, there is some reason to be concerned and it has to do with the rates of how many people are being vaccinated. The Delta variant could lead to a surge in parts of the country where much of the population has not been vaccinated. It is more important than ever for the United States to be better organized and act as quickly as possible to get its residents vaccinated.

For those of us who have been vaccinated, there is hope yet not to be too worried.

As someone who has suffered from anxiety since I was teenager, I cannot tell you what a relief that is. Especially since the pandemic has made my levels of anxiety reach a whole new level.

There have been various studies showing that the different vaccines continue to protect people from the Delta variant. A preprint study by Public Health England found that two doses of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine and two doses of the AstraZeneca vaccine were 96% and 92% effective, respectively, at preventing hospitalization in people infected with the Delta variant.

A single dose of the AstraZeneca vaccine has shown to be 71% effective against hospitalization caused by the Delta variant (a single dose of Pfizer was still 94% effective), and one shot of either vaccine is only about 33.5% effective against symptomatic COVID-19 from that variant, proving the importance of receiving both doses.

Much of this information will also depend on the climate and people’s behavior — whether they continue to wear masks indoors and continue to practice social distancing.

Things in Italy, where my family and I live, were handled much differently than in the United States.

We had an initial two-month lockdown where we couldn’t even go out for a walk and were only allowed to leave the house for essential reasons — such as work, grocery shopping, or emergencies. I would go food shopping with my hands shaking and return home in tears out of fear of bringing the virus home to my daughter.

I was crying and having meltdowns on a weekly basis. My husband, understandably, would try to calm me down, but sometimes that made me more on edge. After all, I couldn’t control any of this. That was one of the things that made this period so difficult — having no control.

I hated thinking about all things that my daughter was missing out on, like going to the park and playing with other babies.

It made me feel irrationally guilty. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that during most of the pandemic, I did not take my daughter into any enclosed spaces since I was so nervous with her running around and touching everything in sight. For over a year, she barely saw another human being.

I am doing my best not to get nervous and worked up about all of this. One of the issues for me since the beginning of the pandemic has been the fact that because the virus can change so easily, so does the information. And with information constantly changing, it not only makes it very hard to keep up with, but it is not easy for someone so anxious as myself to remain calm.

I have just started to re-enter the world, as has my daughter.

We recently even went on a playdate — indoors and unmasked — which for me, was a big victory. My husband and I have started going out for dinner. I have begun taking my daughter to the supermarket and the park. Finally, things slowly like they are returning to normal.

Even with being vaccinated, I am going to continue to be smart, wear my mask indoors, and social distance. I am just now after nearly a year and a half beginning to feel more at ease, especially about returning to everyday activities with my daughter. I don’t want to take a step backward. During the pandemic, I was existing, not living. Now, I want to keep living. I will be wise and attentive, as I have been. But I have no intention of letting fear take over my life, yet again.