As moms, self-care gets tricky. What even is self-care? How can we fit it into everything else we have to do? It seems like everyone has opinions on what self-care is or isn’t. Some say self-care is pampering, think pedicures and bubble baths. Others claim it’s more restful. Self-care is subjective. Especially for moms.
Self-care looks different from person to person and mom to mom. And while I enjoy a good pedicure, I think self-care for a mom could be errands alone, cleaning, or even meal prepping.
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Going to the grocery store (or any errands) without children feels like a vacation. There, I said it.
I don’t think it falls under the same type of self-care as getting your nails done, but I think going to the grocery store alone is self-care.
I’m used to one or both of my children tagging along grocery shopping. Most times, it’s OK. By OK, I mean I'm used to fending off wandering arms from grabbing things on the shelves. Or bribing the toddler to stay inside the cart instead of running alongside it. Or stress-smiling politely at the strangers glaring at my bickering kids while I play WWE referee. It's not fun, but it's life.
So when I get the chance to shop slowly, to actually look at and consider what I’m buying, and to peacefully stroll the aisles, it’s like my energy gets a tiny vacation. And that screams self-care to me in this season of life.
The same goes for cleaning. It's not usually synonymous with self-care. At least not for busy moms. But what if we chose to make it so? What if we made an effort to make cleaning more relaxing or rewarding?
Maybe we can make cleaning feel a little more like self-care.
Hear me out. By making tasks like grocery shopping, cleaning, or meal-prepping a relaxing ritual instead of a chore, we’re leaning into the idea that caring for these things means caring for ourselves.
Cleaning can feel like self-care. Not just in how or when we clean, but in our attitude. While it’s not always easy, we can choose to replace frustration and inconvenience with appreciation.
Instead of just frantically doing a chore to check it off a list, we can carve out time for ourselves and the task we need to accomplish. During a deep clean, you might choose to light a candle, listen to a podcast, or even blast some dance music.
You might choose to space out a deep cleaning over days or even weeks. You might take the opportunity within this task to do something for yourself each time — watch an episode of a show you like after each room you complete, enjoy a HOT cup of coffee or a glass of your favorite wine.
Do you meal prep? If so, I’m almost positive you're thinking of your family during this time …
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But what about focusing on yourself during this mundane chore?
Self-care isn’t selfish, but maybe you can be a little selfish during those boring chores. Meal prepping may feel trivial as a form of self-care, but you’re already batch-cooking food. Try using this as an opportunity to create a meal just for you.
Create a meal you will have time and energy to savor later in the week, without grabby hands or whining picky eaters. Plan and pick a time and a meal you can eat in silence.
In the middle of the daily chaos and rushed schedules, you can pull out this gift from your past self.
You remember the blessedly quiet meals, don't you? Save it for the day you have a longer lunch. Or use it as an excuse to take one! Take your time eating. Bring your food outside in the sun. Designate that meal (that you chose and love!) just for you in that pocket of time.
As moms, we often don’t get the chance to savor meals, and attempting to make a meal everyone will willingly eat feels like the opposite of self-care. Frankly, it just may not be our season to do this.
That’s OK! Just because you can't do it all the time, doesn't mean you can't do it once in a while. It’s OK if self-care means putting yourself first occasionally, even in the daily mundane tasks. Sometimes we have to find pockets of self-care. And sometimes we have to create them.
It’s OK to turn everyday chores into self-care, mama.
Be intentional. Find the excuses or permission. Find the time, the energy, and the space to soak in what self-care looks like for you as a mom.
Even if that’s grocery shopping alone, cleaning your house while listening to your favorite podcasts, or meal-prepping a special meal just for you.
