This Mother's Day, we want all moms to feel empowered on their individual motherhood journeys — no matter what stage of life their kids are in. For mothers with babies, toddlers, elementary school kids, tweens, or teens, every age brings new challenges. But we can face those tough times and changes head on with our knowledge, intuition, and maybe a little support from those around us — because we know that it's empowering to sometimes ask for help.
It can be hard to feel confident as a mom, because there are so many unknowns when it comes to raising kids. Every child is different and so there's never any clear right answer to how to deal with each new situation. But as long as we do our best to lead by being present and informed, we can be confident mothers at every stage of our motherhood journey.
Here are 17 tips for moms to stay empowered while dealing with all aspects of a child's life.
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Choose a Birth Plan
A mother's journey starts before the baby is born. We should feel empowered to pick a birth plan that makes us feel comfortable — whether that's having a midwife, a doula, choosing a different position to give birth in, forgoing medication, or any other aspect of the plan.
Sometimes doctors can steamroll what a patient wants, but don't be afraid to speak up. We can also choose to have a family member or friend there to help advocate for our chosen birth plan as well.
Postpartum Care
The days, weeks, even months after giving birth can be a really tough time mentally, emotionally, and physically for a new mom. It's important that we don't rush ourselves to heal faster than our bodies will let us. We don't need to "bounce back" into our pre-baby bodies and it's OK if we look a little different or feel a little different. It's a process, and we have to give ourselves grace.
And if we feel mentally off, it's also OK to seek help for that — whether via therapy or medication. There's no shame in making sure we're well so we can be good moms.
Speak Up
Moms are the literal voices for their children when they're young, and even as they get older, it's important that we continue to advocate for our children. Maybe that means asking more questions at a doctor's appointment because the child is not feeling heard, or maybe that's standing up to an adult like a coach or a teacher who may not be treating our child with respect. Whatever the circumstance, the mama bear in us is there for a reason, and it's OK to let her out when need be.
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Get a Baby Carrier
A study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders in 2023 found that moms who wore their babies in carriers were less likely to experience symptoms of depression postpartum. Part of that may be that it keeps the baby close and comforted, but it also allows moms to have a little more freedom. Instead of holding the baby all the time, they can do things around the house, read, work, put on makeup or do their hair — all things they may have done before becoming moms, just now while babywearing.
Fed Is Best
We've all heard the phrase "fed is best," but it bears repeating because it's true. There's so much guilt associated with raising kids, but moms don't need to feel guilty if they forgo breastfeeding for formula. It's more important that the child is eating, not what or how they're eating.
Don't Compare
Theodore Roosevelt once said that comparison is the thief of joy, and that couldn't be more true when raising children. It's easy to watch the kids around us and want our own child to be progressing at the exact same rate, but every child is different.
Some take a little longer to start walking or have a harder time learning to talk or they may have a difficult time with reading, etc. There are always going to be things our kids do and don't struggle with, and it's about supporting them through their own individual journeys — not measuring them according to their peers.
Ask for Help
It's easy to feel overwhelmed as a mom, but there really is a support network out there for us. Maybe that support comes from friends or family around us who are eager to help out. Or maybe we can find support through an online parenting group or on social media. We're all just trying to do our best, and many others are there to answer questions or be a shoulder to lean on when we need it. We don't have to do it all on our own.
Set an Example
Our kids are always watching us and picking up on everything that we do, and that's actually really cool. We have such a great opportunity to teach through doing. Whether that's showing kids how to help the environment, how to live a healthy life, or how to be kind. It can feel like a lot of pressure, but as long as we try our best, our kids will turn out just fine.
Evaluate Schooling
Schools are not one size fits all. It's our job as parents to know our kids and how they might respond to different learning environments. Just because some kids go to preschool at 3 years old doesn't mean that's the right fit for every child. Some children will do better if they are a little older when they go to school. Some students may thrive in a private school with smaller class sizes.
And this is something we can evaluate every year and adjust if need be. Maybe they don't gel as well with one fourth grade teacher so we look into moving them into a different fourth grade glass. Whatever it is, we'll be there to help them find the best fit.
Don't Project Fear
There are so many things to worry about when it comes to our kids, but it's important that we don't show that fear. Our children can pick up on our own uneasiness, and it can make a situation more difficult. Sure, it's natural to feel stressed about leaving our tween home alone or watching our teen start to drive, but we have to help them feel empowered to take on new life challenges.
And the more confident they learn to be, the less worried we'll have to be.
Pay Attention to Pop Culture
An easy way to bond with our kids as they get older is by learning to love what they love. Stay on top of the trends by downloading popular social media apps. Or sit and watch the same shows together. Take them to see their favorite artist in concert. They'll feel more seen and understood if they have something to connect with us about.
Give Space
As our children grow up, we have to step back a little bit. Nobody likes a helicopter parent, and our kids will gain independence if we give them a chance to try things on their own. Giving kids space is hard, but it's an important step to ensuring that they can eventually enter the world as functional adults.
Don't Take Things Personally
Tweens and teens can be particularly harsh to their moms. Maybe they're embarrassed by us all of a sudden or they get mad at us super easily. But we have to remember that a lot of the time their frustrations or outbursts have nothing to do with us. Being a teenager is stressful — their hormones are all over the place, and it can make them act differently. But eventually they'll outgrow that, and we'll be right here for them when they come around.
Be a Listener
Often what a child needs is just to be heard. It's really common for moms to want to solve all their child's problems. But in trying to find a solution, our kids can feel like we're steamrolling the conversation when really they just want to complain or rant or feel listened to. Creating a space where our children feel comfortable talking to us is so important as they get older and have more serious things to discuss.
Get To Know the Friends
We should know who our kids are spending time with at all stages of their lives. For moms who plan to allow their children to do sleepovers, getting to know the friends (and the friends' parents) is imperative. And as kids get older, if we continue to be friendly to their companions, they're more likely to want to spend time at our house with those friends. Being the hangout house is a really easy way to keep an eye on our children.
Talk About Tough Subjects
It can be easy to put our heads in the sand when it comes to our kids growing up, but it's important to talk to our teens about tough subjects. Maybe we don't want to think that they'd be having sex or drinking or doing drugs, but it's not an impossibility and we need to arm them with information.
Talking about teen pregnancy or STD risks or birth control means that if a teenager does decide to have sex, they're at least educated about doing so safely. The same goes for drugs and alcohol. Have open conversations about what to do if someone overdoses at a party they're at or experiences alcohol poisoning. It's hard, but knowledge is power and we can't pretend we don't need to talk about these things.
Take Time
Ultimately, the most empowering thing we can do as moms is take care of ourselves. It's easy for a mom to put everyone else first, but self-care is super important. We don't want to get burnt out or lose our tempers, so let's take some time to ourselves when we can. And we need to prioritize taking that time, even if it means calling a friend to babysit so we can get out of the house by ourselves for a bit. We deserve that, too.
