As a mom, you probably put your familyâs needs above your own on a daily basis. You might not feel like you have time to worry about your own well-being, especially when it comes to mental health. Studies show that as many as 1 in 7 women experience postpartum depression. Many more likely struggle with other mental health conditions, like anxiety and eating disorders.
While the research is out there, many mothers are still hesitant to acknowledge their symptoms or seek treatment. Even if youâre not personally experiencing symptoms, you can still show support for other moms who may be struggling. Understand that postpartum depression doesn't just last through the newborn or even infant stage. And of course, many moms struggle with mental health even when it is unrelated to pregnancy and childbirth. Here are some ways every mom can help normalize mental health discussions.
Learn the Signs & Symptoms
You might be familiar with postpartum depression as a mom, but do you know about other forms? Expectant parents might not know about perinatal depression, which up to 20% of pregnant people can experience prior to birth. The signs of perinatal depression can include:
- Sadness
- Anxiety about the birth or babyâs health
- Thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby
- Difficulty bonding with the baby
- Irritability
After birth, you may experience similar symptoms with postpartum depression. Some can also develop postpartum psychosis, which can involve paranoia, obsessive thoughts, hallucinations, and attempts to harm yourself or your baby. The recent story of Lindsay Clancy, the Massachusetts mom who shocked her community by allegedly killing her three children and attempting to take her own life, brought attention to the dangers of postpartum psychosis.
If you find yourself having these thoughts, donât be afraid to share them with your partner, doctor, or other moms you know. Sharing your symptoms with others is a crucial way to prevent tragedy.
Go to Therapy
Therapy is the obvious solution, but itâs not always easy. Doctors advise you seek treatment if postpartum sadness lasts longer than two weeks. But you can benefit from therapy no matter how long or how severe your symptoms are.
You may not always feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner or a family member. A therapist can create a separate space for you to unpack your experiences. You can also try family counseling to bring your partner into the conversation and discuss ways you can support each other.
While you donât need to tell everyone you know that youâre in therapy, it can be helpful to talk about it sometimes. If you know a new mom or a couple expecting their first baby, consider mentioning that youâve gone to therapy for postpartum treatment. Even a brief discussion can make them feel more comfortable seeking therapy if they need it.
Work Those Coping Skills
Part of caring for any mental health condition is to develop the right coping skills to use when your mind becomes your enemy. You know how hard it is to summon your inner âhigher selfâ when panic attacks strike. Your default patterns might lead you to react with rage or seek to withdraw â what can you do instead?
Your coping skills might include activities like the following:
- Exercising: Getting physical is a fabulous way to dissipate anger, stress, and frustration because it lets your body do what nature intended when under pressure â fight back or get out of Dodge.
- Writing in a journal: You might write an angry letter you never intend to send, then rip it up or toss it into the fireplace to let go of those negative feelings.
- Practicing yoga or meditation: These practices tap into your parasympathetic nervous system â the side that tells you to relax.
You can go a step further by inviting other moms to join you in these activities. Get a group together to go to a yoga studio each week or push your strollers through the park. These activities can act as an informal support group, where you can share as much or as little as you want.
Create a Safe Space for Kids, Too
Parents set the tone for how their kids think about mental health. You may have grown up with a mom who hid her feelings or used unhealthy coping mechanisms instead of going to therapy. That might be why you now struggle to cope with your challenges.
Break the cycle by making your children feel safe to talk about their emotions. Once you understand the signs of depression, anxiety, and other conditions for yourself, you can be more in tune with your childrenâs mental health.
If your children are old enough, you can start by having an honest conversation about your mental health. While you donât need to go into every detail, just sharing that you feel sad or scared sometimes can let your kids know that theyâre not alone.
Normalizing Mental Health Discussions Is Crucial
If youâre struggling with depression or anxiety as a mom, youâre not alone. You might not realize how many people around you have gone through the same experiences. Together, we can take the first steps to normalizing mental health discussions and getting moms the support they deserve.
Note: If you or any of your loved ones are struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can always reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling 988. They are available 24/7 by phone or online chat.
