For couples that dream of having a baby, infertility can be devastating. The negative emotions and ups and downs that can come with struggling to get pregnant can be hard to cope with. Navigating these challenges can be even more difficult if you don't have supportive people to lean on.
One woman on Reddit shared that she and her husband have been trying to have a child for a long time, but they haven't been able to get pregnant. She's understandably upset and stressed — and her husband's lack of support isn't helping.
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The woman wants to try IVF.
In her Reddit post, the woman explained that she and her husband have been together for 13 years and have been trying to have a child. After trying "many methods" and still not getting pregnant, the woman said that a friend recommended in vitro fertilization.
"The mental toll would be a lot for us so we'd take some time before we try again," she wrote.
Her husband is wary.
When she mentioned the IVF idea to her husband, he wasn't sure about it — which is understandable given that they've already tried many other methods over the years. But his main concern is the cost of IVF. While the cost of IVF varies depending on your treatment plan, insurance coverage, and other factors, her husband is not the only person concerned about the hefty cost. According to GoodRx Health, one cycle of IVF can cost $15,000 to $30,000.
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While the price is daunting, the couple can afford it.
The woman understood her husband's concerns about the cost — it's definitely expensive. However, they have enough money saved up to afford IVF, she explained. The fact that they technically have enough money for it did not seem to ease his concerns.
"He pointed out how one session isn't guaranteed and that we'd have to pay for more. Again, I mentioned how he and I can afford it with our money combined," she wrote on Reddit.
Her husband thinks she should pay for it herself.
Her husband was apparently not planning on dipping into his savings to cover IVF treatment. His reason for not wanting to pay for it was even more shocking: he believes their infertility struggles are not his fault.
"He looked at me intently then told me that 'logically,' since I'm the cause of infertility then he thought that I should handle the cost of IVF sessions by myself," she explained.
The woman felt "so hurt" by her husband's comment, which he didn't really seem to understand because he thinks he is "not obligated" to pay for his wife's "medical issues."
The woman's family told her that she shouldn't have pushed IVF on her husband.
The woman's family told her she should've thought more about her husband's feelings. Even though he was skeptical about IVF, she kept pushing him about it, they told her. "Especially, considering his mental health state from being able to become a father which is a human right that he has," she added.
She later clarified that she's confident their infertility is because of medical issues she has.
Redditors thought the husband's behavior was inexcusable.
Of course, the husband might be upset about their fertility struggles — just like his wife is. But many Redditors felt like the husband's comments were deeply "insensitive," and what the woman really needs is support from her partner as she deals with this.
"Your husband's comments were incredibly hurtful and insensitive," one person assured the woman. "It's a shared journey, not just your 'medical issue,' You deserve support and understanding, not blame."
People really hated the way the woman's husband blamed her.
To many Redditors, a marriage is a partnership, and the fact that this woman's husband acted this way shows that he might not value her as an equal partner.
"Trying for a baby is something exciting only if you BOTH want it," one person responded. "I have many friends who have struggled with infertility, and their husbands / partners have sold their prized baseball card collections, fishing boats, and guitars… picked up extra shifts… gotten second jobs to contribute financially as much as possible to that SHARED dream of parenthood."
"Marriage is a partnership, not a blame game," another person pointed out. "Infertility is the couple’s experience together, not just one partner! It affects both parties."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
