Kids love to talk. Once they discover that their little lips can mumble, it seems like they never stop. This is particularly true of school-aged children. No matter how hard parents try, we sometimes just can’t get our kids to stop talking. They're happy to share everything they know with just about anyone willing to listen.
Some kids couldn’t care less about context or what is appropriate — they just want to be heard. For example, one mom recently got a note from her son's teacher blasting him for being inappropriate. Instead of coming down on her son, however, she issued a hilarious — and truthful — response.
The mom was on vacation.
Jenny Mollen, 43, cookbook author and wife to American Pie Actor Jason Biggs, 44, shared an exchange between her son’s teacher and herself on Instagram. Mollen was on vacation when she received a message from the concerned educator.
“Dear Ms. Biggs,” the message read. “Today in school your son shared with his classmates that you are in Copenhagen on an adult trip and have been eating (pardon my language) ‘tons of penis.'
“While I hate to bother you on your vacation, I felt strongly that you should be aware and and perhaps address the issue at your earliest convenience,” the note continued.
Mollen responded immediately.
Mollen wanted the teacher to know that she appreciated her concern but that there was really nothing to worry about.
“Dear Karen, He’s not lying,” wrote the mom of boys Sid, 8, and Lazlo, 5. “I have been eating tons of penis on this trip. Def gonna need to reign it in when I get home. Thank you so much for checking in on me. See you at drop off!”
OMG.
Maybe it’s all just a silly misunderstanding.
Mollen’s third slide on her Instagram carousel features a snap of a menu with “reindeer penis ragout” circled. Mollen’s joke is on point, and really, who can blame the kid?
How could he keep that kind of information to himself? Look, lady, he was telling the truth! Get your mind out of the gutter.
Mollen’s followers loved everything about this interaction and could totally relate.
Her followers were in hysterics over the kid's commentary. Many shared their own stories of kids saying the darndest things.
“One of my old nanny kids was doing a dance and then going 'chugga chugga peen!' one person shared. "And when his mom got home I immediately said 'I did not teach him this.' I didn’t. But it was indeed the funniest thing any nanny kid has ever done in front of me.”
“We were having the kids at our daycare list their family favorite breakfast foods. One child casually mentioned that her dad only drinks beers for breakfast,” another person commented.
Mollen is not the only parents whose kid has said something a bit racy in public.
“Years ago, a mom tweeted that her kid told the soccer coach that 69 was his mom’s favorite number.”
And what is the teacher thinking now?
“Would have loved to see the teachers reaction to your response email,” one follower wrote.
Check out Mollen’s Instagram for more food fun.
As a children’s cookbook author, Mollen has spent lots of time exploring food. Her latest book, Dictator Lunches, is an ode to parents who struggle to make their little bosses meals that they will eat. The colorful and playful book gives parents all kinds of ideas to help make meals fun, adventurous, and enjoyable.
She told The New York Post last month that kids should be exposed to foods and eat the same things as adults.
“I think it’s weird that in America, we think there are kid foods and nonkid foods,” she says. “It’s so strange. I don’t think there’s any reason to underestimate their palates.”
