Mom Punishes Son for Smoking Weed With Friends & Their Parents Think She’s ‘Overreacting’

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Raising teenagers isn't for the faint of heart. We get a mini feel for what it will be like when our kids are much younger, that "terrible two" phase, however it's not like the real deal. At this age, teenagers are trying to assert their independence, and as parents, we try to allow them the space to make mistakes while still holding them accountable when they need it to learn. It's not the easiest thing to balance as a parent, so all we can do is our best.

But add in a global health crisis, and parenting our teens through this adds another layer of challenge. One mom took to Reddit to get advice on a situation she's found herself in with her teenager, who is challenging the rules a bit too much.

Posting to Reddit's AITA community, a mom gave a little background information first.

"Two weeks ago I (34f) went to go tell my son (14m) that it was time to go to bed because it was a school night," the original poster started her post. "It was 10:30 and he’d been playing video games since 7:30 pm."

Well, at least that's what she thought – turned out he wasn't in his bedroom at all. "I checked the whole house and he wasn’t anywhere. I freaked out and called him, no answer. Called again and when I was about to hang up and call the cops, he answered. I asked where he was, and he told me at a local park."

Mom left the house and tracked her son down at the local park.

"I got there quickly and found him with two of his friends," she said. "They reeked of weed with eyes looking like a Zyrtec commercial. I told them to get the f–k in my car or I’d call the cops. I drove his two friends home and marched them to their doors to inform their parents," she said.

She was not playing around.

But, she said the other teen's parents weren't as upset as she was. "Neither set cared half as much as they should’ve," she admitted. "One agreed that it was bad that they were smoking weed and sneaking out, but it wasn’t the end of the world and only deserved minor punishment. The other boy’s parent said that she had LET him walk to the park at 9 pm and, 'everyone smokes weed.'"

OP was not happy about how the other parents reacted when she brought the teens home.

Mom said this was bad enough, but adding in the health crisis, she was surprised the other parents were so relaxed. "Never mind that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and they all shared a joint," she said.

"She had the audacity to suggest that I should try smoking because I needed to relax. When it was just my son and I in the car he snidely said, 'see not a big deal,'" mom said.

"By the time we got home, he had told me that he had been smoking since he was 12 and he called me a loser."

Mom then outlined what the consequences were for her son, laying it all out.

First, he's grounded, mom said. "He can leave the house for a 15 min walk around our street in the morning and a 15 minute walk after he finishes his class work. I sit outside reading the paper during that time to monitor him. The only other times he leaves is to help me grocery shop."

Mom said when she leaves the house she hires a babysitter to watch her grounded 14-year-old son. "No video games or electronic devices, except for the computer that his school gave him to do schoolwork. There’s so many content blockers on it that he can’t do much else on it."

Her son is "forbidden from talking to the friends that he was with that night," but he is able to email his friends. He will receive random room checks and some required reading.

"Every night after dinner, I make him read aloud an article about the dangers of marijuana on the adolescent brain," OP said. "As of now he’s grounded for a month, but I add an extra day for every day he doesn’t follow my restrictions. Right now he’s at 10 extra days."

Mom said her son isn't thrilled and thinks she's gone too far.

"My son thinks it’s unfair. He keeps saying strict parents make sneaky kids," OP said. "He told me that not letting him see his friends is ruining his mental health. I offered him a therapist, but he refused. I think it’s fair because what he did was so dangerous."

OP said she knows that what he did isn't the worst thing and he likely won't die from it, but she wants him to be aware.

"Unprescribed use on the growing brain is so understudied and there could be unknown effects from mixing it with his ADD medication," she said. "Additionally, it’s illegal at his age and could land him a criminal record or worse, especially with the youth curfew. When he’s 21, he can go to a dispensary and smoke it at his house, not in a sketchy public park. Until then it is my house and my rules that he has to follow."

She asked the Reddit community if she's in the wrong for her punishment and the community let her know their thoughts.

"NtA," one person wrote. "He's a child. This is your job. Part of me wants to say your reaction is extreme, but he's really young."

"NTA," another agreed. "If he was just a couple of years older, I would say you're over reacting a bit. But he is very young for this. If at all possible I'd have his pediatrician check him out. Make sure that weed is the only thing hes been doing. And discuss any possible side effects from his drug interactions," the poster added.

"Mom, all kidding aside," another wrote, after joking at some of mom's reactions. Adding, "your instincts here are right, but you're just fuming and smoldering and need to actually light the fire within. He's impaired, ADHD affects reasoning, so pot for him has different effects on his brain, mood, and behavior. Therapy is not an option, it is mandatory. If only bc he's got ADHD, and apparently some MD agrees. There needs to be treatment and follow up. The meds alone aren't working." They continued, "Don't be a YTA, call a therapist and make his ungrounding conditional on his compliance and advice of the doc."

"ESH, he definitely shouldn’t be smoking (at his age or ever in my opinion) BUT you are being too harsh with the punishment," one Reddit user felt. "His argument of 'harsh parents make sneaky kids' is not wrong, he will most likely try to rebel (which it looks like he has been doing, given the 10 extra days). Maybe loosen the reigns a little allowing him to still speak to his friends and restricted video game time."