At times, we've all wished our families were the perfect, happy units we see on those wholesome sitcoms from the 1950s. You know, when everyone was polite and happy and got along. That's not real life, folks. Families aren't that happy. Usually, it seems like someone is always upset or annoyed about something.
No matter how exciting a moment is, someone is probably going to find a way to spoil it. Think of the baby news that you were so eager to share. Somebody might be sitting with a needle ready to pop your balloon. But is that the fair thing to do? One woman took to Reddit's AITA forum to find out.
She had waited for this pregnancy for a while.
The woman, 26, and her husband, 32, had an unexpected pregnancy last year, but the circumstances weren't ideal. As much as it pained the couple, they decided to terminate the pregnancy and wait until things were a bit more settled to have a baby.
She had a birth control implant inserted, understanding that she would remove it when she and her husband were ready to have a baby. They recently decided it was time, and in just two months, she was expecting.
She wasn't planning on the news traveling so quickly.
Her husband was so excited that the couple was pregnant that he rushed to tell his mother. When he broke the news, her brother-in-law was there too, so he found out. And then, she said, by default, her sister-in-law found out, too. That is where the trouble started. Her sister-in-law is also pregnant and didn't think the announcement was all that exciting.
The sister-in-law's pregnancy had some drama to go with it.
But the sister-in-law's circumstances weren't the same when she found out she was expecting. She was a bit underhanded with her conception. A sneaky pregnancy, how does that work? She didn't tell her husband that she was going off the pill and got pregnant behind his back.
The OP said she and her husband knew about this. The brother-in-law was pissed when he found out, rightly so, and left her and moved in with his mother. They have since reconciled. It is unclear where they are living now.
The mom-to-be decided to tell everyone about the baby.
Despite the circumstance, the mom-to-be decided that since three people already knew, she might as well tell everyone. As she said, "It's better that they know I'm pregnant from us rather than from a third party."
Well, the sister-in-law didn't like this at all. She started telling everyone that the new mom-to-be got pregnant on purpose because she wanted to be like her and upstage her.
So now OP wants to know if she was in the wrong.
The mom-to-be went to Reddit's AITA subreddit to get some opinions. She stated clearly that she announced her pregnancy a few weeks after her sister-in-law did, and even though she knew it would annoy her, OP told people anyway. Does that make her the a–hole?
People wanted to talk about the reproductive cycle.
"Also not sure SIL understands how biology works," one person commented. "The announcements were 2 weeks apart. Unless OP ovulated the exact day of SIL's announcement, had unprotected sex that exact same night resulting in fertilization, then tested positive on an early test exactly 14 days later on the day she expected her period to start to, and then announced on that same day…well, that's just highly unlikely. NTA, OP."
People just weren't buying it. "Also, it's unlikely that OP would get pregnant right off the bat, like learn that SIL was pregnant, have sex once and get pregnant that first try," another person noted. "They were trying before anyone knew SIL was pregnant."
People immediately went after the sister-in-law for tricking her husband.
Soon, it started to get ugly. People were essentially accusing her of trapping her husband. Some people said that what she did was a form of abuse.
"Tampering with birth control in order to secretly get yourself pregnant (or secretly force your partner to get pregnant) is called reproductive coercion, it's an abuse tactic used to try and force the partner attempting to leave into staying," one person suggested.
People didn't understand her motive. "I wonder if she's always this self absorbed/obsessed?" another commenter wondered. "I dislike when people accuse women of trying to trap someone, but damn SIL really tried to trap someone."
Some felt sorry for the baby's future. "Or that your kid was wanted by both parents and not a last-ditch effort to keep your husband," suggested one redditor. "Never a good idea btw. If something is broke a baby most likely will not fix it! NTA OK maybe that is to mean and petty."
Others felt like the sister-in-law needed to calm down.
People agreed that OP was not an a–hole because she didn't make a grand announcement at a significant event. It was a pretty simple thing.
"Short of announcing your pregnancy at someone's wedding, baby shower, wedding shower, or in the delivery room while your SIL is giving birth, you can make your announcement whenever you want," one person noted.
Redditors agreed there is no wrong or right way to handle a pregnancy announcement. A couple should tell people when they are comfortable, whether that's right after a positive test or a trimester in. It is no one's business.
Ultimately, people determined that OP was not in the wrong.
If there was an a–hole in this situation, it went to the sister-in-law for her deceitful behavior. People agreed that honesty is the way to go, not entrapment.
One Redditor gave OP the ultimate comeback: "' Why yes… I heard you were pregnant 4 weeks ago and just couldn't help myself getting pregnant, so we banged like bunny's several times a day just so I could outshine you. You are so smart for figuring me out' And with the biggest and most fake miss universe smile you can put on."
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