Ever year I have a hard time with New Year's resolutions. Usually I feel conflicted — I want to start the year off on the right foot, but I don't want to crash and burn if I don't stick to my plan. Plus, how can I be sure that knocking 50 books off my to-be-read list (or let's get real, 15) is going to make me feel any better about myself by the time the next December 31 rolls around? That's why this year I've decided to make fewer concrete goals — yes, hear me out. Goal-setting can be an effective tool for happiness, but sometimes productivity is not the objective. In fact, New York Times bestselling author James Clear and author of Atomic Goals, is a big advocate for not setting goals and focusing on systems instead. It's a lesson I've taken to heart as we go into the new year, but I'd like to take Clear's advice one step further, if I can.
What I really want this year is to figure out what really matters and then create the systems that let me enjoy those things to the fullest. And I think that is a worthwhile thing for anyone to do. In fact, I think spending my time working on systems will make me happier and I've collected a handy list of things that will hopefully keep me happy all year long. For instance, we know that humans thrive on connection, so I'm going to try and make systems that let me invest in old friendships, find new friendships, and be more connected to my family. Another huge obstacle to my happiness: stress. And part of being stress-free means getting my clutter under control. As writer Rachel Wilkerson Miller says, "Being organized is a gift I give myself" — and I am a believer. Take a look at what other happiness tips and tricks I've collected.
Find Community
People thrive on their relationships with others, which is why finding a community can be key. Sometimes community comes from religious groups, but other places to find a group can be group exercise classes, common hobbies, mommy groups, or even some friendly neighbors.
Break a Sweat
It's like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands." OK, so it's not exactly like what Elle Woods said, but there is something to keeping up a consistent exercise practice. Even taking a 20-minute walk per day can have some health (and happiness) benefits.
Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude can help us during times of adversity and can contribute to a more positive outlook on life. Start small, either in the morning or at night write down three things to be grateful for and they can be as small as feeling grateful for coffee to larger things like friends or family.
Give Back
Giving makes us feel good. It's why we like surprise parties or giving birthday gifts. This year, why not pledge to give to a cause that needs more support? It doesn't have to be hours logged at an animal shelter, financial support works, too.
Learn Something New
Sometimes when I'm stuck in a rut I try to think about all of the things I have yet to learn about myself and all the excited things there are for me to try. Learning something new like a skill or hobby is the perfect way to shake off the cobwebs.
Save
Saving money isn't always in the cards for people — and that's completely OK. But if one is in the position to save, putting a little bit into savings — even $10, $20, or $50 — can make them feel more secure or financially at ease.
Be On Time
To be clear, this is a late person speaking to other late people. I'm not exempt from making those last-minute apology texts, but being late actually is more stressful than being on time. So this year, try to keep to agreed-upon meeting times.
Say No
I love being that person who people can go to when they are in a pinch. It's just so easy to say yes! But learning that I need boundaries and that I can't make everyone happy without sacrificing my own happiness was a big lesson I learned last year. This year I'm saying yes to saying no.
Be Organized
One doesn't have to be born naturally organized but according to Wilkerson Miller, being disorganized isn't exactly fun, either. Not keeping track of things can make us feel out of control and stressed out — so even though it seems not so fun, keep track of important dates, times, and documents to prevent full-blown panic attack later.
Invest In Friendships
Husbands are great, but the importance of maintaining platonic friendships has never been more crucial. Sometimes friends just have a different perspective than romantic partners and there is no one I'd rather vent to than my girlfriends.
Practice Self Care -- Whatever That Means
For some people, self-care is a face mask or a nightly skin care routine that makes them feel in touch with their inner self. For others it might be cooking a nice meal for dinner or spending an hour reading a book. Either way, this year I'm committing to at least one self-care practice.
Make the Bed in the Morning
Listen, I can't speak for the rest of my house, but I am a dedicated believer that the least I can do is make the dang bed in the morning. No matter how much is piled up on the floor (or on that pesky desk chair) a made bed can make the room look at least 30 percent more pulled together. Plus, it's so nice to go to sleep in a nicely made bed. Sweet zzzzzzs!
Friday Night Meatballs
A few years ago a story about one woman's weekly tradition of inviting friends, family, and neighbors over for "Friday Night Meatballs" went viral and I've never stopped thinking about it. For parents who are too busy to socialize, a weekly (or bi-weekly, or monthly) tradition of a casual group get-together sounds like a dream.
Show Up for Others
We all get stuck thinking about our own lives, but being present and available for others –especially friends who are going through hard times — is another way we can give back and let someone else know that we care.
Invest in the Nest
I don't believe that things can buy happiness, but I do think that investing in being cozy (or, Hygge, as it's sometimes called) is important and can make us feel better on the day-to-day. So why not buy some new slippers, get a new duvet cover, or finally try one of those weighted blankets as a little treat?
10-Second Tidy
I have to thank The Big Comfy Couch for this one. The lesson I learned from Lunette and Molly was that at the end of the day all I had to do was set the timer and clean up until I heard the ding. Of course, as a grown-up it's more like a 10-minute tidy, but the point is to try to do a little bit of cleaning daily, so that my mess doesn't get too out of control.
Have One Cozy Activity
Hobbies are great. Who wouldn't love to learn how to jet ski or take up a trapeze class? But having a quiet, creative activity that can be done inside the house while listening to a podcast or watching TV can be a good way to turn off my brain and helps me relax. Think hand lettering, knitting, doing a puzzle, or even journaling.
Get Some Sleep
With kids it can be hard to get eight solid hours, but getting beauty sleep is always worth it. Sleep hygiene is important, too. Take the time to turn off cellphones, don't look at screens before going to sleep, and keep the room cool and dark.
Family First
Take some time to have family-only nights or start some weekly family traditions. During the week after-school activities or work obligations can run us ragged. So it's a nice treat to make Sunday Morning Pancakes a special weekly occasion.
Be Your Own Coach
Self-doubt happens when we let the voices in our heads control how we feel about ourselves, but listening to the haters in our heads can make it hard to believe in ourselves. That's why it's more important to talk to ourselves so we can give ourselves the encouragement we need.
