It should come as no surprise that in a patriarchal society, soon-to-be parents often express a strong preference for boy babies. People across cultures, across time, have offered all kinds of reasons for this preference.
They’ll claim they want someone to carry on the family name; with the wage gap, sons have a stronger earning potential; and today, men and women alike claim that boys are easier to raise. But recently, more people — parents and non-parents — are starting to push back against this notion.
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An expectant mom on Threads said when she expressed her concerns about having a son, people told her boys were easier.
On Threads, one expecting mother, @jadahmanh, asked other people to chime in on the idea. “How do you feel about the ‘boys are easier to raise’ debacle?’ #pregnant,” she wrote. Jada said that she received this comment every time she told people she was having a boy and felt nervous about it.
Instead of taking comfort in this advice, Jada found it irritating. But the comments she received online were nothing like the generalized, likely sexist messages she had been receiving. Instead, they were nuanced, varied, and more reflective of human nature.
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'They're easier to neglect,' one user commented.
“They’re not easier to raise,” one user offered. “They’re just easier to neglect. People show their hand every time they say this.”
Another parent chimed in with the differences she noticed between her son and daughter: “All I know is I never had to worry about my daughter cracking her head open from an unexpected jump from a high surface she randomly climbed up on in .3 seconds.”
Someone suggested the advice is about not being able to protect your daughter in the world.
Someone else spoke to the societal fears people have about sending girls and even women out into the world with boys and men. “It’s the fear of not being able to protect your daughter from the world vs your son has a higher chance of protecting himself physically and guarding himself emotionally,” someone else offered. “But the reality is, if you don’t train them correctly mentally, emotionally, spiritually they will still have inner battles that will take over.”
In response to that, Jada, a Black mother, explained another reason for her concern. “At this rate, in my opinion, I fear for all Black children’s protection in this world,” she wrote.
One mom said raising boys is actually harder.
One mother shared that she thinks raising a son is harder than raising a daughter. “The weight I feel on my shoulders to raise a good man who respects women and would never engage in any sort of rape culture (that means anything from jokes about sexual assault to actually doing something horrific) weighs on me far more than raising a girl would,” the mom commented.
Another person shared the reason why this notion exists in the first place. “Boy are only easier in a culture where we make it unsafe for men to be vulnerable and express their feelings," the commenter wrote.
'Both genders have their challenges,' a mother of a boy and girl commented.
A mother of both a boy and girl also agreed with the statement: “I have both genders and not one gender is easier than another. Both genders have their challenges.”
Someone else who worked with many children shared her experience. “It’s weird,” she wrote of the idea. “I used to work in a daycare and they boys were always worse behaved than the girls. 'But its less drama with a boy' Girl what drama? They’re children!!”
