A group of mom friends likes to periodically meet up for “grown-ups only” dinners that give them a chance to chat and catch up. Though they’re all moms to young kids (6 and younger), they sometimes like enjoying a meal without their kids, partially because they “like to try restaurants that might have only an adult menu and ambiance.”
Recently, the group made plans to go to a new restaurant with “an elevated menu and setting,” according to a social media post by the mom who set up the dinner. But she ran into problems when one of her friends invited another friend to the outing: The new friend said she would not be able to attend without her baby. Although the mom who planned the dinner knows “having a baby can be very isolating,” the restaurant they’re going to doesn’t exactly scream “kid-friendly.”
The mom who planned the dinner explained why they’re typically “for grown-ups only.”
In a post on Reddit, the mom explained that she has three young kids (ages 6, 4, and 2). She loves spending time with her kiddos and is fortunate enough to work part time and have more time with them. At the same time, she also believes “that there are places/times that are appropriate for grown-ups only.”
When it comes to the dinners with her friends, the women tend to choose fancier restaurants that aren’t appealing to kids and usually go after their kids’ bedtimes. Additionally, they know their kids would not even enjoy the experience. “Sitting at a dinner table listening to grownups chit-chat seems incredibly tedious for a child,” the mom explained in her post. “We also take the kids to dinner together sometimes at more appropriate restaurants and times.”
But they’re happy to accommodate new people.
Though the dinners are not kid-friendly, they’re always open to including new adults. When one of the mom’s friends invited another friend, the mom was happy to welcome her to the group. “The more, the merrier to me,” she wrote. But then she found out that the new friend plans to bring her 12-week-old baby.
After learning this, the mom was torn. She doesn’t want the mom with a baby to feel excluded, but she doesn’t think this dinner is a great place for a baby.
It’s hard to get a reservation at this particular restaurant.
Given that the restaurant is new and popular, with an “elevated menu,” the mom is worried the baby could disturb other diners. “Reservations are hard to come by and I have a feeling other diners probably don’t want to hear a crying baby while they’re enjoying a night out,” she wrote in her post. She also added that bringing a baby is “just distracting.”
At the same time, she empathizes with the mom who wants to bring her baby. “On the one hand, I’ve definitely been on the other side of this — just having a baby can be very isolating and the need for adult interaction is strong,” she wrote. “But on the other hand, I also understood that some things I’d have to say no to, or plan a more appropriate outing, say lunch or coffee.”
Redditors agreed the dinner didn’t sound kid-friendly.
“Defer this newbie’s attendance to a dinner date that’s kid friendly,” one person advised. “This one is not. Whoever invited her should have made the rules clear so it’s their job to fix that.”
Another Redditor had a valid point, writing, “Having a baby along changes the entire dynamic. All of these parents have children, and they would like a night out without children. If they are sacrificing, the evening, they would’ve spent with their own children, I’m sure that they really don’t prefer spending the evening with someone else’s child.”
But a third person could understand why someone might assume that the “kid-free” rule didn’t apply to babies. “In my friend group, over the decade+ that people were having babies, we always assumed that non-mobile, breastfeeding infants were exempt from being included as ‘kids’ for the purposes of kid-free events,” the commenter wrote. “Around our area, babes-in-arms are even welcome in bars and at fancy wine events, so it may be a regional thing as well. To me, it doesn’t surprise me that someone would assume that to be the case for this event unless told directly.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
