Some people just get us, like the friend who always has the best memes in the group text, the other mom in the drop-off line who also looks like a hot mess but always takes a minute to ask how we're feeling, or the co-worker who is down for processing the wild comment Bob from accounting made in the staff meeting or for helping fight the working mom guilt feelings we might feel from time to time. All of these people are essential parts of that whole mythical mom village and that village is so helpful for our emotional and mental health.
But, here's the thing: finding new friends and building meaningful connections as an adult can be really hard, especially after two years of lockdown life. We're all so busy and making time to make friends isn't always the top priority. And while some of us might be lucky enough to have loving family nearby or lifelong friends in the same ZIP code, not everyone has a built-in crew.
Finding new friends, social support, and even some chosen family can sound like a hard task, but we talked to 16 moms who shared the sometimes surprising but mostly doable ways that they made meaningful mom connections. From bonding over books to leaning into the soccer mom life together, these real moms are finding connection and support in these clutch friendships.
Mom Friends From Mom Class
"I feel like I'm really lucky because our area has these early childhood classes for parents where you are placed in groups with parents who have kids around the same age. I joined a group when my baby was a few months old and it was so great to have other moms to bond with who were dealing with the same challenges I was. My first baby is now 7 years old and I'm still super close with the friends I made in that class." — Cassie H., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Yoga Friends
"Before the pandemic, I did a yoga class every Tuesday morning and I always saw this other woman there, too. We also both dropped our kids off at the gym child care, so we eventually started chatting and got to know each other. When the pandemic happened, I was so happy I had exchanged numbers with her because we were able to keep doing yoga together. First via Zoom and then outside at a park. It was so good to keep my yoga routine going and to have another mom friend to keep me company during it too." — Meghan D., San Diego, California
Facebook Safe Space
"I’m in a Facebook group for other moms of LGBT or non-binary kids and it is such a major source of support for me, especially because I live in a state that is passing some seriously messed-up laws about trans kids. Having other moms I can share my fears with who totally get it means the very world to me. I’d be lost without them. It is my safe space." — Name withheld by request
Online Book Club
"I’m a major introvert but even I got lonely during the pandemic and realized I needed to be more intentional about having some more relationships in my life. I ended up joining an online women’s sci-fi book club, which is just the right amount of nerdy socialization for me. I’ve always loved sci-fi books and I didn’t do a lot of reading when my kids were babies so it’s nice to have an excuse to make sure I take time for reading." — Arnita R., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Affinity Group
"My company has different affinity groups. I joined an affinity group for Black and Latina women and it’s been great for both solid networking (that I think will help my career) and for just making some social connections. I’m also into the Black Girl Magic Peloton community, so I have a good balance of online friends and in-person social connections." — Tisha G., Denver, Colorado
Group Text
"Is it bad if one of the best sources of social support I have right now is a mammoth group text chain that is 90% Schitt’s Creek GIFs and 10% calling our husbands a–holes? Because I have 3-year-old twins and I’m freaking tired and that is all I have energy for. It’s my lifeline to the hope that I’ll actually have a real social life again someday." — Kara B., Houston, Texas
Church Home
"I’ve actually been a member of the same church since I was a teenager, so that is a really deep community for me. I’ve got older church ladies who fight each other to hold my baby, I’ve got kids in the youth group who want to babysit. It’s the best." — Sarah F., Thousand Oaks, California
Soccer Moms
"Shout-out to the other moms on my son’s travel soccer team! We spend basically all our free weekends at soccer tournaments so the other soccer moms are basically the only other adult humans I get to spend time with. It’s just a bonus that they are actually fun to hang out with and that I don’t have to apologize for being obsessed with my kid and his sport." — Heidi O., Grimes, Iowa
Big Family
"I’m an only child and I married a guy with six siblings. It can be overwhelming (there are a lot of people at every family gathering) but I’m also really glad that my kids are growing up around lots of cousins and my sisters-in-law are all actually really lovely and fun, so I feel like I married into a family and got friends as a bonus." — Allison L., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Soror Support
"AKA forever! My sorority is still a huge part of my life, even though I’ve been out of college for 10 years. I still count my fellow sorors as some of my best friends and there are always fellow AKAs to network with or connect to when we’ve looked at moving to other parts of the country." — Nedi B., Tampa, Florida
Park Moms
"When we moved into our new neighborhood a few years ago, one of the big selling points was that we'd be walking distance to a park. I'm a teacher, so I'm home in the summer with my kids and we got into a routine of going every morning at the same time. I eventually started chatting with some other moms who were also there at the same time and that turned into having picnics with the kids and trips to the pool in the afternoon. It was organic and brought a lot of joy to our summers." — Josie R., Brooklyn, New York
Community Theater
"I've always felt like I'm just too extra for some people. I'm loud and dramatic. But then I joined a community theater company when my daughter wanted to be in a play and it turned out that we both found our people! I'm never worried about being too much when I'm around my acting friends." — Katy M., Des Moines, Iowa
Moms & Scholars
"There can be a stigma about getting pregnant and having kids during graduate school, so finding a support group for scholars who are also moms was really great for me. We swap babysitting and help edit each other's papers. Graduate school can be competitive but this group is all about support." — Susie F., Ann Arbor, Michigan
Knitting Club
"On a whim, I signed up for knitting classes at a local knitting shop and it turned out to be this perfectly cozy experience. I got to learn a new skill and now I just go there sometimes and sit in a big chair and knit and gossip with the ladies there. It feels sort of old-fashioned, but in a really pleasant way." — Ruthie W., Hanover, New Hampshire
Meal Exchange
"One of best parts of the vegan mom group I'm part of is that we do a weekly meal exchange. We each cook six portions of a meal and then we meet up at a vegan cafe and swap meals. It makes it easy to try new recipes and we get a chance to catch up in person." — Paula P., Edina, Minnesota
Online Friends Are Real
"I have a close knit group of female friends who support each other with texts, gifts, phone calls, and even passing down hand-me-downs. That fact that most of us have never met in person doesn't really matter. The friends I've made on Twitter are real friends indeed." — JoAnne C., Duluth, Minnesota
