A high school graduation is one of a young adult's most significant moments. It is the culmination of years of hard work and a huge accomplishment. Having family and friends there to support and celebrate can mean a lot to the graduate. Conversely, it's an equally big disappointment when loved ones can't be there or choose not to attend. Sadly, sometimes, adults don't realize how hurtful it is not to show up.
A high school senior posted in Reddit's AITA forum about his dad's decision to skip his high school graduation so he could attend an award ceremony for his stepdaughter, but he said he'd make it up to him. Understandably upset, the original poster told his dad this was inexcusable, and there would be no way to make it up. Is he wrong for feeling hurt and ready to cut ties with his father?
More from CafeMom: People Think I'm 'Badass' After I Became a Mom & a Doctor on the Same Day
OP lost his mom when he was very young.
It's a sad story. OP's mother passed away when he was 7 years old, and his dad remarried a few years later. With his new wife came a stepdaughter, who didn't know her biological father, so OP's dad stepped in and made it a point to be active in her life, so much so that he prioritizes her over his son.
OP explained, "He has attended her dance things instead of my basketball games if they're on at the same time. It doesn't matter if mine was known about first, he will still skip my stuff to go to hers. He will take us on family days and whenever he and his wife say "kids can choose" he picks her choices over mine. He claims it's because they will be the most fun for everyone but really, he even says it afterward, "anything his little princess wants."
When it came to OP's graduation, he never thought his dad would miss it.
But apparently, he was wrong. He told his son he couldn't be in two places at once and would be attending an award ceremony for his stepdaughter. OP was not OK with this and told his dad that he wanted him at the graduation. But things got ugly.
"He told me he would make it up to me and I told him I will always come second to his little princess and I'm not going to be OK with that. I told him he's discarded me for the last time. Dad begged me to be reasonable but I walked away. Then I invited both sets of grandparents who agreed to come. His wife told me I could have come with them and I don't need to attend the ceremony but could support 'my sister'. I said her daughter's not my sister and I do not want to support their family anymore and I will be out of their hair soon. She called me selfish and told me I can't deny her daughter a dad," he wrote.
Redditors couldn't believe this one.
The father's behavior appalled people.
One Redditor wrote: "Oh my God! What the heck? You should skip your graduation?? What? Really? No. I would cut these toxic people out. You are obviously the afterthought. They don't consider your feelings, but they demand that you make concessions and sacrifices for the golden child of the family. No. The moment they treated you like that, you should have went to live with your grandparents. Do they see this? What do they think?"
"NTA – Run when you graduate and remember this in a few years when you get married and have kids, cause they always want back in your life at that point," one Redditor advised. "Hopefully your grandparents will take you in. Obviously you weren't a priority to him, return the favor. Move out and block him."
Others agreed that this was such a low blow.
If OP's dad doesn't show up to graduation, it's over for a lot of people.
"I agree with you," someone wrote. "There is no coming back from this. What other milestones does your father plan on missing for you? Wedding? Grandchildren? It's better to cut your losses as soon as you're able to and move on to avoid other disappointing moments down the road. You are wise to catch this now instead of pushing it down. HS graduation can also be your liberation party."
Plenty of Redditors blamed the stepmom.
"I suspect the step mom has something to do with this as well," one person suggested. "Weak people can be controlled and it seems your dad is that way. I know It hurts a lot and I know that feeling where you don't have anyone that has your back at your home. It's best to work towards getting on your feet. If you choose to be [no contact] with your dad, no one will blame you."
More from CafeMom: Boy Walks 6 Miles to Attend 8th Grade Graduation & Ends Up With a Full Ride to College
Redditors felt OP's feelings are justified.
Not a single person sided with OP's dad. This person gave him kudos for standing up for himself.
"NTA," the commenter wrote. "I applaud your maturity to express yourself so very succinctly and logically. I could not have been that skilled at your age. Someday you will have children, and you will make better decisions as a father. As for your father, I am sad that he has not the recognition that his choices have alienated you from the family and caused such pain. Perhaps there will someday be a time for you both to reunite and for him to ask for forgiveness. You sound like a man who has a heart, so maybe you both could reconnect. In the meantime, solidify your plans, find your path, and keep your head held high. Congratulations on your graduation!"
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
