If you've ever had a newborn in your house, you know that it's a ton of work. There are feedings, diaper changes, and often lots of tears from baby — and sometimes adults. Needless to say, taking care of a new baby is exhausting for both parents. But as a mom, if your partner starts lamenting to everyone they know about doing all the work, it would be pretty annoying.
One new mom recently took to Reddit's AITA forum to see if she was out of line with her reaction to her husband's tall tales. She and her husband have a 6-week-old daughter, and although taking care of the baby girl is hard, OP says she's managed OK thus far. On the other hand, her husband has been exaggerating about his participation on social media, in an apparent attempt to garner sympathy from friends and family.
OP had enough after people started suggesting she should give him a break, so she started to record him lying around the house doing nothing because she was actually the one doing most of the work. She shared the videos with friends and family. Now people think it was a nasty thing to do, and OP wants some advice on whether she was wrong for putting him on blast.
OP's husband is a keyboard warrior.
According to OP, her husband spends time telling stories on social media about his hard work rather than doing any actual work.
"We had our baby girl 6 weeks ago. Since then my husband started sharing on social media platforms about how hard he works and how hard being a father is. basically getting sympathy point while I do 80% of childcare obviously," she explained.
Friends and family have seen his posts and "scolded" OP for making him work so hard.
OP got fed up and started taking videos of her husband.
OP was done with all the calls and texts telling her that she was a bad person for forcing her husband to do so much work, so she started a video evidence trail. Whenever he was sitting around doing nothing — which she claims is most of the time — she recorded it for the world to see.
"I got fed up so I started recording him when he gets home. eats by himself, watch tv, nap etc. All with dates and times and started sharing those videos whenever a family member or friend call me bossy. my husband got mad and demanded I stop sharing those videos. I said I will once he stops acting like he's the one working hard," OP wrote.
She may have crossed the line during a dinner out with friends.
OP and her husband went out to dinner with their friends, and he started up with the whole sob story about how hard he works with the baby. She had enough and started showing them videos of him in action.
"Last night we were out and some friends and my husband started with his sob story about how being a dad is 'consuming' friends started side eyeing while he listed the things he does throughout the day. I pulled my phone and showed them the thing he really does throughout the day. He was stunned and our friends were quiet. Dinner got awkward and we went home," she explained on Reddit.
Now the world is out to get her.
OP's husband totally blew up at her for "ruining his reputation" in front of their friends and "throwing dirt on his name." The argument continued for hours, and ultimately he left to stay with his family.
Now, her husband is upset, and his family is coming after her. Her mother-in-law said she was "childish" and called her a "bully." But is that accurate?
Redditors quickly pointed out that the husband acted like a child.
People don't understand why he thought he was in the right because he was lying about caring for his child while leaving her to do it all.
"NTA in my opinion your husband would have a valid point if HE did 80% of the work, but seeing as that's what you do. I think what you did was far," one Reddit user wrote. "He needs to stop being a winny little kid and take care of his child like an adult."
Another person pointed out that he ran to his mommy. "You argued and then he abandoned you and the baby to go get some sympathy from his mum? This guy is a terrible father," the person commented.
People aren't a fan of his behavior at all.
"He went and cried to his mommy and you're childish and a bully?? He was posting sob stories on social media and whining to friends about how difficult and consuming parenting is while doing the minimum," someone else chimed in. "Then you are getting looked down upon like you're slacking, so you set the record straight. You aren't guilty of anything. The [a–hole] here is your husband."
Some asked if she had one baby to take care of or two.
"I suspect that's only one of many childish attention demanding behaviours. So are you ready to raise two kids? One who never grows up….. the narcissist," one commenter asked.
"Does he know/have you told him that this is causing you undue strife?" one concerned person asked. "If it wasn't for family harassing you about not giving him a break etc, it wouldn't be so bad (annoying, sure, but not as bad.) But this is completely unfair of him. I'm sorry you're dealing with 2 babies rn."
It's pretty clear that OP needs to set up some boundaries and ground rules to get her husband on board because parenting is a full-time job.
“Your husband is a major a–hole. He needs a reality check, parenting classes, therapy, and/or for you to spend some time with your child away from him just to show him how little he really does," a dad suggested. "If he left you on your own with a 6 week old because his feelings got hurt, maybe you not let him back in for a while.”
But some commenters warned that she needs to make a few changes herself.
“You have a baby it’s time for you to both grow up. Try speaking to each other?" the person wrote. "Is it really a p—ing contest to see who has it harder? It sounds like he goes to work and also does 20% of the childcare when he gets home? Can’t you both be tired without it being an attack on the other person? This sounds so toxic."
"You sound more like adversaries than partners," someone else pointed out. "If you can't talk to him about this without having to document evidence against him, you should consider marriage counseling to learn how to communicate better."
It's a good thing she has some video.
All props for the video, though, OP. You always need to have receipts.
"NTA stellar move though, proving his lies with actual time stamped proof. Genius!" one person chimed in. "He's just mad it's being proven that he's full of it as well as not being a helpful or supportive partner and father. He's dragging himself through the mud by being a lazy AH."
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