When children are young, hurt feelings happen a lot. School-aged children can end up hurt when playdate, outing, and birthday invitations begin. It’s hard when kids leave a child out, but parents have to do their best to manage their feelings. If the child is a twin and their sibling receives an invitation but they don’t, the heartache could be unbearable. So what is a parent to do? A TikToker named Kristen posted about a dilemma with her own twin daughters that left her heartbroken.
Kristen, who posts as @thefoxsaystwins, is the mom of identical twin 5-year-old girls, Jana and Kinsley. The girls are both in the same class, and recently, one received an invitation to a birthday party while the other did not. Kristen didn’t know what to do or how to feel and went to TikTok for support.
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Kristen knew this would happen.
At some point, Kristen figured Jana and Kinsley would have different friends and receive different invitations, but this invitation came as a surprise. Kristen said in her TikTok, “I knew this day would come eventually, but I didn’t expect it to happen at this age.”
The mom decided to contact the mom to see if the invitation was for both girls rather than just one.
For this family, it was all or nothing.
Kristen explained that either both girls would attend the party or neither would. It wasn’t because the other parent upset her; she just didn’t want to see one of her daughters hurt.
“I literally cannot think about the hurt that will cause in the girl that was not invited,” she explained.
Kristen's video quickly went viral.
She received more than 750,000 views, and people had strong feelings about it.
Some commenters thought Kristen was being unfair to the child who received the invitation.
Like this person, who wrote, “Twin here… PLEASE don’t take away the opportunity of the one child to attend bc the other was not invited. That’s life. I love the idea of going to do something fun one on one during the party time.”
And this one. “Imagine the invited twin – I can’t go to the bday bc my sisters feelings are more important then mine. Thats the message being set.”
But others understood why Kristen was upset.
A twin chimed in, writing, “I am a twin, and I remember not being invited to a birthday party in the 6th grade, but my twin was – I still remember the hurt I felt. I absolutely understand your response.”
This twin mom agreed. She explained, “At 5 years old it is a package deal – especially if they are in the same class. when they are older and have separate friends then ok for separate invitations. I’m a mom of twin girls. 27 years old now.”
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Kristen ended up texting the other mom.
The dilemma bothered her enough that she texted the other mom and asked if both Jana and Kinsley could attend the party. She told her, “Of course both girls should come,” adding that she didn’t know why the invitation didn’t reach both twins because both girls were friends with her daughter and on the list.
This was a happy ending for Kristen and her daughters, but she still received mixed reviews.
This person loved it. “As an identical twin myself you did the right thing 🙂 way to go momma!”
Someone else wondered if the mom hosting the party had caught wind of the situation, commenting, “I wonder if she saw your TikTok – her answer would have been mine. I’ve done it; when a mum is brave enough to ask for an invite, I’m never going to say no.”
Kristen has no regrets. She captioned her video, “And for all of you saying I should not have asked, I am so glad that I did!”
