Instead of gender reveals, pink or blue clothing options, and gender-specific nurseries, more parents are choosing to raise their children as genderless. They don’t announce a sex pre- or postpartum, they don’t subscribe to typical gender roles, and they don’t use the pronouns he or she.
Instead, these parents are using "they" and "them" pronouns for their children, opting to let them discover and declare their gender identities when they’re ready.
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People are calling these children 'theybies.'
These children are called “theybies,” Firstpost reported. The trend first garnered attention in 2011, when a couple in Toronto, Canada, announced they were raising their child, Storm, without gender designation.
The trend often dictates that parents give their children names that are not historically associated with men or women. Julia Sharpe, a female engineer, told NBC News, that as a woman in a male-dominated industry, she’s well aware of the constraints of gender expectations. It contributed to the reason she decided to go with a genderless approach when she learned she was pregnant.
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Gender stereotypes can be harmful.
Research has shown that gender stereotypes hurt children. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology found that mothers tend to underestimate their daughters' motor skills in infancy and overestimated their sons' abilities.
Society does a great job of perpetuating a lot of gender-based myths, often portraying girls and eventually women, as less capable. Other parents have come to realize that gender is a social construct and they don’t have to subscribe to it.
Christian, a transgender man, doesn't want his children to experience what he did as a child.
One father, named Christian, says he experienced his own gender dysphoria as a child so it was important to let his children guide their own identity, the New York Post reported.
As a child, Christian says he felt he was born in the wrong body. He began expressing this at 6 years old, and began taking testosterone in 2018, when he was in his early 20s. Today, at 30 years old, Christian wants to ensure that his children don’t have to “come out.”
Some developmental experts believe the genderless approach could make 'theybies' outcasts.
Parents of theybies have said that their children are more creative, more free-spirited, and that they express their individuality more readily. They believe their children are less likely to succumb to societal expectations. But critics believe this genderless approach could pose issues in larger society.
“By raising a child perhaps in this way, where they’re not assigned a gender at all, they are different,” British psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer told the Daily Mail. “By definition, they are standing out no matter how we look at it. It does create that sense of difference and it is ultimately still an experiment.”
Christian is happy with his decision.
But for Christian, the approach seems to have worked seamlessly. He has three children Liam 7, Laura 5, and Teddy, 2. As he's raised them, he's encouraged his children to show curiosity about both traditional boy and girl toys, and initially dressed them in unisex, neutral-colored clothing.
“Your sex and gender identity are two different things,” Christian told the New York Post. “It seemed wrong to say my child is a boy or a girl based on their genitalia. That’s not what makes you a boy or a girl. Gender is much more about how you feel inside yourself.”
Christian's oldest children have already confirmed their genders.
Eventually, Christian’s two older children confirmed their genders to him. “They say by age 3 or 4, most kids can identify their gender,” Christian said. “This seems to be true of my children.”
He’s still waiting on confirmation from his youngest child, Teddy.
