I’m not a fan of playing with my kids. They enjoy role-playing and I just can’t stand their logic. So I’ll sit near them, staying present, supervising from afar, making sure they’re safe. Or I will do housework while they play among themselves.
Then recently, I saw a TikTok trend about sittervising and it completely resonates with me. I’ve been doing this since they were little. Here’s how it benefits me and my kids.
Safety First!
Obviously, I'm not neglecting my kids by being lazy and not intervening when they're about to stick their fingers into an electrical outlet or get their hands on various sharp tools in the garage. As the term implies, I'm still supervising my kids, just not lingering over them like a helicopter.
There are times when I'm unloading the dishwasher and I can hear them crashing toward me. I'll immediately use my loud voice and tell them to stop. Or if I'm cooking on the stovetop and I know they're near, I'll turn down the heat and usher them out of the kitchen.
Independent Play, Creativity, & Self-Sufficiency
During my sittervising sessions, I will often have a cup of tea or coffee with me while I sit quietly on the couch and observe my kids play. It gives them the opportunity to stretch their creativity and widen their minds.
If I'm directing them on how they should or shouldn't play or hovering to make sure they do it right, they won't have the freedom to create their own games and rules or explore entire imaginative worlds. They will expect directions or instructions from me because I'm right there. I don't want to spoon-feed their playtime.
In addition, sittervising promotes self-sufficiency and autonomy. I have witnessed many occasions where my daughter would go around the house, finding the toy or item she wanted. Or she would go to the kitchen by herself to grab her water bottle because she felt thirsty. If I was physically near, she would have immediately asked me to fetch and find things for her.
Building Relationships
Since I became a mom, I have developed eyes on the back of my head that allow me to sense when things are getting charged and about to blow up between the kids. My attention is heightened in case I need to separate the two.
But there are often moments when I hear an argument budding, but instead of immediately jumping to referee, I stay close, wait, and listen. I let my kids express their frustrations with one another and see whether they can resolve the issue themselves.
If I interfered every single time they had a problem with one another, they would never learn how to communicate clearly, cooperate, listen actively to one another, negotiate conflict constructively, or work together towards a solution.
Time To Recharge
I do a lot for my kids and with my kids. I'm packing lunches, scheduling appointments, walking them to and from school, listening to their retelling of what they saw on YouTube, doing their laundry, driving them to swimming lessons, reading school emails, Googling how to help my daughter with her loose tooth, comforting them after a bad day, kissing boo-boos, and fighting invisible monsters. They are on my mind 24/7.
I need breaks from my kids, physically, mentally, and emotionally so I don't burn out. Sittervising gives me the permission to give myself the time and space to recharge. It helps relieve the pressure of trying to be a perfect parent and minimizes the inevitable mom guilt that slaps me in the face every time I don't think I handled a situation the best I could.
When I feel energized and well-rested, I am a better person to myself and everyone around me. I'm more patient, compassionate and present. I'm less irritable and on edge. I can give the attention that my kids deserve.
Ultimately, whether my kids have moved across the country, in the next room or beside me, I'm always going to be there for them, sittervising the whole time.
