Traditional Christian doctrine dictates that there is to be no sex before marriage. As you might imagine, it’s one of the harder rules for people to uphold, even with the best intentions. Human nature and hormones are hard to fight. For the most part, premarital sex is one of those rules you can break and people don’t have to know about it.
But if there’s a pregnancy, there’s evidence. And sadly, in one church, that evidence led to a pastor making a pregnant teen apologize for her “sin” in front of the entire congregation.
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'I just hope that y’all all forgive me,' the teen girl said to her congregation.
Recently, journalist Jemele Hill shared a clip from the True Vine Apostolic Church in Hampton, Virginia. In the clip, a teenager steps before the congregation and speaks into the microphone.
“I want to apologize to everybody in here because I am pregnant …” She pauses as her voice breaks. “I’m sorry y’all. I just hope that y’all all forgive me.”
To make matters worse, after the young lady took her seat, the pastor took to the pulpit to announce that no one in the church should attend any baby showers on behalf of the child.
“We ain’t gon’ condone your sin now… we ain’t gon’ do that. Ain’t no baby showers going on, that’s what you lose out on. When you have a baby out of wedlock you don’t get a baby shower and nobody at this church should attend one.”
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The practice of making unwed mothers apologize is not new.
In the caption she wrote to accompany the video, Hill writes, “I have a lot of thoughts but I’m going to let y’all have it. But I’ll just say this: The only person who should be ashamed in this scenario is the pastor. I hope she finds a new church home.”
The people in the comments also had a lot to say about this situation. Anyone who has been in the Black church of the past can attest to the fact that this practice of making unwed mothers apologize to the church is not new. But in the last 30 to 40 years, it’s become increasingly rare as people have taken issue with the fact that only women have been made to apologize — a baby is not a sin.
And the practice is more about the approval of church folk rather than repairing one’s relationship with God. People said as much in the comments.
'She doesn’t owe the congregation an apology,' commenters agreed.
“Why does she need people forgiveness?” one Instagram user asked. “Did they die for her sins?”
Another inquired about the father of the child: “Is the father of the child going to be publicly shamed? Is he also 15? Older? She doesn’t owe the congregation an apology. This is sick.”
Other people decried the behavior as abuse. Others noted the hypocrisy of it all. “Apologizing to a bunch of sinners is crazy work …” someone else pointed out.
A stranger confronted the pastor.
It wasn’t just the people online who were angry at the pastor. One man entered the church to question the pastor about him humiliating the young lady. “Are you the pastor that publicly shamed that young lady?” He asked. “Did you deny that young lady her baby shower?”
The pastor repeatedly asked him what he wanted before other church members ushered the man out of the building. The man said he planned to organize a protest at the church. People thanked this man for standing up for the girl.
Meanwhile the girl's mother supports the pastor.
Later, a woman claiming to be the teen’s mother spoke out in support of the pastor and his actions, Vibe reports. “To everyone that’s concerned, we greatly appreciate it,” Dee Myles wrote in a comment shared on The Neighborhood Talk. “However, I do want you to know that you all are interrupting my peace and is causing more damage than good. You are showing up disrupting my church, my beliefs, and disrespecting my pastor. I am where I want to be and where I chose to be. We were not forced or manipulated to stand before the congregation. My daughter willingly approached the congregation and was welcomed and embraced with open arms. I stand on what I’ve been taught, and I’m raising my daughter to do the same.”
