Being a mom is hard. It's literally keeping another human being or beings alive. Not only alive, but happy, and that can take up a lot of energy. Many moms might feel like they have to put their own needs or passions aside when raising kids, but we dismiss that notion wholeheartedly. While it may not be possible to throw caution to the wind, or party frat-style Thursday through Saturday anymore, it is possible for moms to put themselves first, relax, or/and have some fun.
We came up with a few small ways that moms can put themselves first. And none of these things, like feeling good about themselves or finding joy in solitude, make them a bad mom. It makes them human. From not feeling guilty for peeing alone to sleeping in to just letting the little ones eat what they want every once in a while (even if it comes in a freezer bag), it's important for moms to carve out time for themselves. Hey, even if it's just a face mask once a month. Do it.
Take That Shower!
Showering isn't a thing those who aren't moms spend too much time thinking about, but for many mamas with kids, it's a Herculean task to get to. Moms, when a moment arises, get in the shower. It's well-deserved. Everything else can wait. It's basic self-care and moms deserve it.
Carve Out Time to Binge a Show
Moms deserve to have binge-worthy shows to watch. No matter if the house is a mess or the lunches need to be packed. Carve out some time in between to catch up on a show. Or even watch while doing tasks. It's OK to get some entertainment in, even if the kids need to be put to bed early to do it.
Serve Frozen Chicken Nuggets
Serving kids nonorganic, gluten-filled, processed chicken nuggets has been a mommy wars topic for so long it's almost comical. Moms, if feeding kids those nugs means an hour extra of peace or relaxation at lunch or dinnertime, it's worth it. Don't feel bad about it.
Put Makeup On (or Ditch It!)
It's so easy to get caught up in all the tasks that need to get done in a day, or even hour-to-hour that pre-mommy pastimes like makeup are the first to go. If makeup was a fun ritual, pick a day of the week and do it. Just because. On the flip side, moms shouldn't feel like they have to wear makeup if they don't want to.
Indulge Once a Month
Self-care is important to every human being, no matter if they take care of tiny humans or not. While it may be harder to participate in self-care as often as one would like, moms should still do it. Have a spa day once a month or a game night planned. Everyone deserves something to look forward to for themselves.
Listen to Favorite Tunes
Yes, it's good to keep the kids' exposure to inappropriate language to a minimum, but if they're young enough, mamas, just play those favorite songs in the car. If listening to "Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin' Everywhere" reduces mom's stress, do it, by all means.
Turn on the TV & Sleep In
Sleep is a coveted thing for mamas. If there's a partner, ask him to help coordinate time for each person to have a turn to sleep in. And if not, mama, there is no shame in turning on the TV for older kids or keeping little ones in the crib a tad longer to get those ZZZs.
Get That Coffee
Don't get too busy in the little ones' routines to forget that it's OK for mamas to have routines of their own. Take a few minutes to brew that coffee or buckle everyone up to make a trip to Starbucks.
Lock the Bathroom Door
Going to the bathroom uninterrupted is something many moms dream of. Mamas, put the child in a safe place like their crib or bouncy seat. Or if there are toddlers, stick them in a playpen and/or bring in a monitor. It will be OK.
Don't Feel Bad for Wanting Alone Time
Speaking of alone time, if it's possible to run some errands without the little ones wanting to touch and bring everything home, go for it. Even if there's not a need to buy anything right now. Feel like a normal, shopping human a few times a month.
FaceTime Friends Even if the Kids Are Around
A lot of moms feel like they don't want to burden their friends or loved ones with calls or video chats if the kids are around, or they feel they're just too busy. Take five minutes to call someone special, no matter what is going on. Things will still get done after and that loved one will not mind at all.
Start a Hobby That Brings Joy
Mom is one of the most important jobs in the world, but it isn't the totality of someone's identity. Part of moms putting themselves first means nurturing their passions and doing things they like, even if it has nothing to do with their kids, like a book club or knitting.
Ask for Help
This might be one of the toughest ones for moms to do. They want to be tough, because in our society, being a good mom means rolling with the punches alone. But that isn't the case. Talk to a partner if there's something mom needs to do on her own, or ask a trusted loved one or family member if they'd be interested in babysitting.
Have Kid-Free Date Nights
If it is possible to get a babysitter, we can't stress how important kid-free date nights are for parents. Moms and dads or moms and moms or even single moms who are in the dating pool are human and need to talk about and do adult things without worrying about kids getting into things nearby.
Bake or Cook Something Even if the Kids Won't Like It
Ah, the dreaded dilemma of mom cooking for picky eaters. There will be times a mom will cook just what the child wants to keep things moving and calm. But sometimes, it's OK to cook something they might not like, there are always chicken nuggets (see above.)
Schedule Therapy
Therapy is incredibly important to maintaining a healthy mental state and strengthening coping mechanisms. Being a mom is rewarding, but comes with its fair share of challenges. Having a professional to work it out with is invaluably helpful to prevent breakdowns.
Take Time Away To Exercise
Some mamas probably exercised a lot before they became mothers, but their passion for it shouldn't have to end just because of the kids. Schedule movement into the day, whether it's a walk or run with the kids at a park or at a gym that has a sitter.
Buy the Outfit or Accessory
Money-conscious mamas carry a lot on their plates. They want to give their children what they need, but not everyone can afford it all. That said, they will still be amazing moms even if they treat themselves to something they like, like clothes or jewelry, occasionally.
Practice Self-Forgiveness
Stuff happens, sometimes. Kids will arrive late to school or meltdowns will happen despite mom's best efforts to mitigate them. A way to put herself first is to have self-forgiveness and grace for herself when things get hard. It will be OK.
Wine, Then Dishes
Last but not least, the world will not come to a crashing halt because something fun happened before the dishes got done. Every once in a while, have the wine or watch that show before the dishes get done. It'll feel good, we promise.
