Most of us probably don’t know exactly what’s coming in and out of our bank accounts. We don’t want to think about how much we have saved for retirement or if we can retire at all. Talking about money can be uncomfortable; for moms, however, money can be especially challenging if they rely on their partners to handle the finances.
After her divorce, Lacy Garcia found herself in a scary, overwhelming, and dark place. She was a single mom who felt lost navigating her financial situation. Unfortunately, when she reached out to financial advisors, she left with more questions than answers. It took a while before finding the right advisor who gave her the support she needed.
Because of that experience, Lacy started Willow (Trust Willow), a groundbreaking financial technology and education platform that connects women and underrepresented investors with trusted financial advisors who truly understand and support their unique life stages and financial journey.
CafeMom spoke with Lacy about her inspiring journey after divorce, motherhood, and words of advice for other moms.
More from CafeMom: 15 Healthy Financial Habits To Help Build Wealth
On her divorce and becoming the sole financial provider.
We asked Lacy about her journey to becoming an entrepreneur and starting Willow. Lacy shares that when she was in her mid-30s, she found herself getting divorced.
“I went through a very dark and challenging period in my life – both emotionally and financially. Through a series of events, I had unexpectedly become the sole financial provider, and seven years after my wedding, I found myself getting divorced and becoming a single mom. I felt very scared, alone, and overwhelmed,” Lacy tells CafeMom.
Lacy had recently become a financial advisor, but when it came to navigating her divorce and her own financial situation, she did not have all the answers and needed help. She was stunned by the impersonal and often condescending approach of financial professionals who she turned to for help and support.
“These advisors were more focused on the transactional aspect of our relationship – and not only did I not get the answers I needed, but I was left feeling even worse – until I eventually found the right trusted advisor and received the financial life coaching and guidance that I needed to become empowered and take control of my finances and my life,” Lacy shares.
On Starting Willow
When Lacy read that more than 70% of women felt dissatisfied with their experience with their financial advisor and lacked the confidence she herself had fought so hard to achieve, she knew she was not alone and that it was time for a change.
“I started Willow so that other women — and especially working moms — wouldn’t have to suffer the way that I had to get the trusted financial advice and coaching needed to take control of their finances and be in a position to achieve their life goals. So I guess you can say that Willow is my way of making lemonade out of lemons,” Lacy tells CafeMom.
Lacy saw an opportunity to coach financial advisors on how to better empower women and those striving for financial independence. Financial advisors can equip their clients for success by fostering a foundation of trust. Willow was born from Lacy’s understanding of how stressful it can be to recover from financial hardship, especially as so many women have gone through similar experiences to her own.
She explains that Willow connects consumers, especially women, young investors, and other underrepresented individuals, to trusted financial advisors who meet their unique needs and provide support during their individual financial journeys. Willow constantly strives to instill confidence in its clients no matter what stage of life they may be in and to change the perception of the financial industry for the better.
Lacy's redefinition of balance and success.
Lacy shares that she loves being a mother and she loves her career. She’s never had the option of not working, since she has always been the main or sole breadwinner.
“Although many of us make it look ‘easy’ – balancing both motherhood and demanding careers is definitely not easy! And at least for me ‘balance’ often feels elusive – I more often feel like a ‘hot mess.’ I think to feel ‘balanced’ as a working mother in today’s reality is to accept that you may need to update your definition of balance and success,” Lacy tells us.
Lacy shares that because she’s an overachiever, she’s learned to accept that it’s impossible to get everything done on her ambitious “to-do” list and still show up for her son’s sports games and help him with his homework.
“Each day, something has to give a little and I definitely don’t feel like I am crushing it as both a mom and a CEO at all times,” she says.
Lacy’s strategies for working moms.
Lacy shares the best strategies that have helped her succeed in both motherhood and career.
- Prioritization: Learning how to prioritize is an essential life skill for every working mom and understanding when to set aside time to focus on your family versus your career. By firmly setting and articulating these boundaries in an empathetic manner with yourself and your family, you will set yourself up for success.
- Self-Care: Make sure you are making time for “YOU” each day! Think of it like putting an oxygen mask on yourself so you can keep breathing and showing up for all the other people who depend on you — at home or work.
- Grace and Appreciation: This is the most important one. At the end of the day, you’re not going to be the perfect mom, spouse, or employee every minute of the day, but that effort is crucial. Start by having grace with yourself and being more realistic in terms of what you can deliver , and make sure you take a few minutes to appreciate all the things you did accomplish that day (versus just focusing on what you wish you had gotten done).
On keeping consistent with her self-care routine.
We asked Lacy about how she stays consistent with her self-care routine and what works for her.
“Incorporating small activities like five- to 10-minute meditations and exercise circuits can help make an impact without necessarily dedicating an entire day. The truth of the matter is that sometimes when you’re overwhelmed, you may not enjoy it, or even look forward to it. However, there’s beauty in the process of gradually enjoying it as you start reaping the benefits of staying consistent … for me, I strive to work out and meditate for at least 30 minutes each day and I am a big believer in an Epsom salt bath to destress and rebalance yourself,” Lacy says.
How Lacy tackles mom guilt.
There isn’t a mom out there who hasn’t dealt with mom guilt. Lacy shares that mom guilt is real for her and it can really weigh her down sometimes. She’s found ways, however, to tackle those feelings.
“It’s important to forgive yourself for the times that you’re not able to fully show up for them and have patience with the amount of ‘jobs’ you are juggling at one time. It’s easy to fall into that deep guilt, especially with newer moms, but it’s crucial to keep in mind that you are demonstrating valuable lessons for your children on how to be independent and maintain a strong work ethic,” Lacy shares.
“It’s truly crucial to their personal development and demonstrates the value you bring by showing them how you prioritize your life to meet personal and professional goals. It also shows them responsibility and the reality of expectation setting.”
Lacy adds that the reality is we can’t be there for every moment, but starting that conversation with your kids about why you can’t make it helps them understand your career demands. As working moms, most of us are being pulled in so many different directions, and sometimes it’s hard to say no and decline when our plates are full of work and home tasks.
“Being able to narrow down priorities on a big to-do list is something that I’ve found to be incredibly helpful when juggling motherhood and work. This can be achieved by prioritizing the main goals and staying focused, as everything comes after those items are crossed off,” Lacy tells CafeMom.
Lacy's financial advice for all women.
We asked Lacy what advice she would give moms who don’t know where to start with financial literacy and get a handle on their money.
“I often say that every woman would benefit from thinking of herself as financially single – despite her relationship status. That is not to say that I am anti-marriage or partnership. Rather, I am a firm believer that all women should be knowledgeable about their finances, regardless of their current financial situation or relationship status,” she tells us. “Having financial literacy and independence ensures overall self-reliance in the event of an unforeseen personal or professional circumstance like job loss and/or divorce.”
Lacy explains that finding the right financial advisor can help anticipate needs around planning, saving, and income management. From there, you can work on tracking all sources of income and monthly expenses, and set up automatic transfers to ensure consistent contributions to the areas that matter to you (retirement, college savings, etc.).
From her personal experience and speaking with other working moms and divorcees, Lacy shares that divorce can leave you in a very difficult financial situation, so it is better to be prepared. Knowing how much your life costs is the first step. Having a financial advisor you trust and who you know has your best interests at heart is crucial. Having a prenuptial agreement in place is an effective way to protect both parties in the event of divorce.
“Take it from me, as a woman who has been through a divorce and someone who talks to women about their finances constantly, a prenup is definitely something all engaged couples should draw up and sign,” she says. “The simple act of developing a prenup encourages a couple to talk about their finances and starts off healthy conversations about money and finances. The primary conflict in a marriage is often money, and having a well-executed prenup in place can help you plan for those potential conflicts – and even help you avoid having them derail your relationship.”
Lacy adds that at the end of the day, understanding your finances allows you to feel empowered and confident to have difficult conversations surrounding topics like financial independence, planning, and prenuptial agreements.
Her mission with Willow is to instill this confidence in women and all their clients. She encourages all women to come to Willow and get matched with a financial advisor for free.
Lacy's hopes for her son and Willow.
“My goal is to continue growing Willow as a trusted resource to every woman and working mother out there, and ultimately take the personal challenges I have experienced and turn them into a seamlessly reliable platform for other individuals and families who want to take control of their finances while navigating the challenges, transitions and uncertainty of life,” Lacy tells CafeMom.
Lacy would also love to continue inspiring her son to achieve his career and life goals and to be financially secure in the future. She is a firm believer in giving our children a “front-row seat” to our career journeys , and teaching them that having a successful career means hard work, dedication, and even sacrifice at times.
“I speak openly about my career and daily work priorities, struggles and successes with my son. I believe that if we share our journey with our children they will learn from us and be better equipped to bridge the gap between passion and hard work, and one day achieve their own career and life goals , while also helping to make the world a better place,” she says.
