While men are taking on more of the housework and parenting duties than ever before, there is still an unequal division of labor in most homes. As you might have suspected, moms are still doing most of the heavy lifting when it comes to raising children and household chores. Many women are not happy about it.
What makes a bad situation worse is when dads who are doing the bare minimum are celebrated, while moms who are going above and beyond, only get unsolicited advice and criticism. One woman detailed this feeling in a hilarious song sarcastically titled, “You Are Such a Good Dad.”
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A question from a classmate inspired the now viral song.
Farideh is a musician and mom. She'd never considered singing about motherhood because the topic isn’t considered “cool” enough. But once she joined a comedy class, she learned that she could bridge her musical talents with humor.
A classmate asked her what was the most annoying thing about motherhood and she said, “[It’s] when everybody approaches your husband and is like, ‘Oh my God, he’s just such an amazing father,’” she told Today.
"He's literally pushing a stroller. He's not doing anything amazing. He's just being out in public with his child. And then I took the idea to write about all the things I do to zero acknowledgments and how my husband is praised just for existing in the presence of our child."
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She released the first version of this song in December 2022.
The answer inspired her now viral song, “You Are Such a Good Dad,” which explores all of the unseen and uncelebrated work moms do compared to the praise heaped on dads for simply being around.
Farideh first shared a video of the song in December 2022. Moms all over have now shared how relatable it is.
“The bar is so low for dads,” one user commented. “Didn’t abandon your family completely? Wow what a good dad!”
But all of the comments aren't complimentary. “It’s not a competition,” a man wrote. "Stop shaming men for being present."
When writing songs, she uses her friends' experiences as well.
But Farideh is not concerned about the critics or those who believe her songs are about her own husband. The song is bigger than that. It is, “really about how society treats my partner, not about how my partner is engaging in the workload,” she explains.
Plus, Farideh incorporates experiences from other moms as well. "The conversations I've had with my friends have revolved around things like infidelity, or incontinence, or just general division of labor issues, how they feel about their body … and so then I write about those things," she says.
Farideh knows that her work helps women feel seen.
When the well of inspiration runs dry in her own friendship circles, she taps her Instagram following, which she likens to “songwriting with 100,000 people.” While her work is comedic, social commentary, Farideh is also aware that her music has helped other women and mothers feel seen.
Her album The MotherLoad explores all of the things mothers carry, including the expectation of being perfect. “There's just this endless, endless standard that we're trying to meet and I think sometimes the more I try to be the perfect mom, the worse of a mom I become because I become more controlling," she said. “Sometimes by lowering the standards, I'm actually a better mother."
