It’s hard enough uniting two individuals as one in a marriage, but things can get even more out of hand when in-laws come into the picture. Even though these are the people who raised the partner you love so much, there is a good chance they might not have all that much in common with their now adult child, who you've found yourself so deeply in love with.
These differences tend to materialize around family events — Christmas, funerals, and especially weddings. One Reddit user shared her experience with a mother-in-law recently, wanting to know if she was an a–hole for confronting her for going against her wishes at her wedding.
This MIL is very religious while the OP and her husband are not.
The Original Poster claimed in her post to Reddit's AITA forum that neither she nor her husband are religious but her husband’s mother is. Her MIL begrudgingly accepted the fact that they wouldn’t be married in a church or by a priest. Still, she found a way to insert her beliefs into the wedding day anyway.
The bride has an issue with the way people speak about her deceased father.
The bride’s father died a few years ago and she has an issue in the way people speak about him now.
“One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say he is watching over me," she wrote in her post. "That’s fine if that’s what you believe but it’s not what I believe … the truth he is gone forever he isn’t watching over me he is just gone and I accept that. No amount of 'he’s watching over you” will change that.'"
The MIL did exactly what the bride asked her not to.
She had explained that to her MIL and asked that she not speak about her father on her wedding day. But during the wedding reception a few weeks ago, the MIL defied the OP’s wishes and explicit instructions.
“At the reception she took the mic to give an impromptu speech. She went on for 5 mins about my dad and how he is there in spirt watching over you blah blah. All the things I asked her not to,” OP wrote.
The bride put on a good face in the moment, but for the rest of the night she had to wrestle with the realities of her father not being there. It was something she had managed to avoid up until that point.
Things didn't get any better the following day.
The next morning at brunch, the MIL asked the OP why she was so quiet, and the newlywed decided to be honest.
“I told her the truth [that] her speech made me feel bad and think of my dad and it just really wasn’t appropriate and mad me really sad.”
Instead of apologizing, the MIL stormed off. She also accused the OP and her son of disrespecting her religion. She even cursed them, claiming that their marriage wouldn’t last.
The brunch ended early, and the family was divided for the rest of the wedding weekend, feeling like they had to choose sides. The OP now wonders if she’s an a–hole for telling her MIL the truth and dividing the family.
The Reddit community concluded the OP is not the one in the wrong.
Reddit users were quick to reassure the OP that she was not an a–hole in that moment. Instead, it seems the MIL is.
“She’s a bully — you asked her to stop doing something that upset you. She didn’t," one user wrote. "Tell her she made Jesus cry by being so unkind to you.”
"NTA, you poor thing, I think your actions are justified because she's the one that had the audacity to say something about your dad in the first place," someone else chimed in. "I hate it when people hide behind religion to not take responsibility."
Thankfully, the OP shared that her husband has her back. He told his family that his mother was out of line and could have behaved — at least for the wedding.
We certainly agree.
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