Lots of kids out there don't look like their parents. It is possible to have a child who looks exactly like one parent and nothing like the other. And, of course, some children are adopted and will never look like their parents. So what? If they all love each other, does their appearance really matter? To some people, it does. And they love to point it out.
Why do people think it's OK to talk about other people's kids? Especially strangers. Recently, a woman approached a mother at the grocery store and started commenting on her baby. They were pretty derogatory comments and the mom wasn't having it. She posted on Reddit's AITA forum to see if she was wrong for her sarcastic clapback.
The mom and her boyfriend are young.
The original poster is 22, and her boyfriend, Sean, is 23. They share a 1-year-old son, Rue. The parents come from different backgrounds, she is North African, and Sean is Asian. Together, they created a beautiful baby who looks exactly like Sean.
"We joke that my genes weren't used at all in the creation of this baby lol, so I'm aware that he doesn't look like he's mine," she wrote.
People love to talk about Rue's appearance.
When OP and Rue are out together, sometimes people wonder if she is really his mother. Because she is young and they don't look alike, a woman recently approached OP at the grocery store and started making small talk about the baby, asking things like his name and age. She then asked how long OP had been the baby's nanny. OP explained that she was his mother, and the woman seemed confused. She thought it was weird but blew it off since she is young. But then, the woman said something strange.
"She sort of frowned, looked between my baby and then me before saying 'but he's … Asian.' She said the word 'Asian' in a really weird tone? Like she didn't like saying it?" OP explained.
The woman wasn't impressed by OP's answer.
Although OP was kind of messing with the woman, she didn't think it was funny. Again, she was surprised that the baby didn't look like OP.
"I replied that I was surprised too obviously because today is the first day I ever took in any of his ethnic features," she wrote. The lady got offended, told her she was "making a public scene," and walked off.
Was that a jerk move?
OP talked to her mom, who said she was not very nice to the stranger and could've just said that Rue is biracial, partly Asian, and left it at that. But OP feels like she shouldn't have to justify anything to anyone. Rue is hers, and that's the end. So, a–hole or not?
Redditors wanted to know if this woman was for real.
Reddit thought it was bold to approach a stranger and assume that because the baby doesn't look like the person pushing the cart, it's not their child.
"It's hilarious and also my new personal nightmare as a brown woman in a biracial relationship," someone wrote. "Like… f— all the other people who think it's OK to comment on race like your existence is justification for them to clarify their ignorance. Rude woman can go get educated on her own time. NTA."
"NTA OP," another commenter decided. "That s— was racist as hell. It's 2022 and people need to stop feeling within their rights to comment on other people's race."
"Maybe that woman will think twice about keeping her racist dogwhistles to herself," another person commented. "Even better, she learns to not be a racist creep."
People think it was just a dumb question.
Why would she even get involved? Couldn't she have just said how cute Rue is and moved along?
One Redditor commented: "NTA, OP. She should be embarrassed. She asked an embarrassing question."
Some people have been asked similarly offensive questions and reacted just like OP did. "I was asked the nanny question," another person wrote. "My response was that I'd been watching her since she was born, job paid crap but sleeping with her father was worth the low wages. As she got older, when anyone would comment on how her and her siblings looked nothing alike, she'd reply (and still does) 'printer ran out of ink'. Lol."
People were confused. Why was this a good idea?
"It would never even enter my mind to approach them and start acting like a jerk and ask rude questions," reads another comment. "Holy crap, I just can't even imagine it."
Lady, did your parents ever tell you to mind your beeswax?
This lady must have missed the lessons on minding your business and keeping your mouth shut unless you have something nice to say. Redditors agree that it's just plain rude.
Someone commented: "It's amazingly stupid of people. Also, some kids are adopted – but in general, asking about a child's parents is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS."
Why was she worried about what was in OP's cart anyway? Shouldn't she have just been shopping?
"It's really insane to me how much people mind everyone's business but their own," one person commented. "Maybe I'm just self involved, but 99% of the time when I'm out running errands I just don't even notice other people. And even if I did step outside my own little bubble and notice someone, it would never even enter my mind to approach them and start acting like a jerk and ask rude questions. Holy crap, I just can't even imagine it."
Redditors liked OP's style.
Reddit is all about a good clapback, and they think OP's got this one down.
"OP, my son is biracial and looks exactly like my husband," wrote one commenter. "Next time I am questioned about it, I am using your response."
And another person commented: "Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. NTA + hilarious."
Just keep walking next time.
OP, Redditors don't think you did anything wrong. You have no reason to explain or defend anything to anyone. Rue is yours, period. Nothing more needs to be said. Enjoy that sweet baby. He sounds like a doll. And Redditors want you to keep that sharp tongue. They like your style.
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