Hi. Hey. Hello. You in the front. Fella in the back. Meddling mother-in-law in the living room. It's time to listen up. No one is interested in what you have to say about how they're raising their children. If you want a say, have another of your own. If you've been there and done that, moms and dads couldn't care less about the "good old days" when you were raising kids. So please, keep your opinions to yourselves.
This rule applies to everything that has to do with raising children, including remarks on children's bodies and diets. It's no one's place to make comments about the size of a child or a baby either. One mother on Reddit is furious with her MIL for constantly commenting on her baby's size. She took to Reddit to vent because she is just completely over the overbearing woman and wants to know if she is being too sensitive.
OP's MIL comes around a lot.
The original poster's MIL is super helpful, but she is also super gabby and can't quite keep her opinions to herself. OP has a sweet baby girl who is 4 and a half months old. She is a bouncing ball of love who is pretty big.
"My MIL is very helpful, she comes over once a week and watches my kids so I can relax," OP wrote. "BUT she constantly makes comments about my 4.5 month old daughter. She's a big baby. Nothing I can do about that."
The MIL is now coming at OP with 'science' about the baby's size.
Until this point, OP has listened to MIL talk about her daughter's size and just let it go, but her MIL took it a bit too far recently.
"Yesterday she came over to help me and made a comment about how 'studies' show fat babies become fat adults and I should stop feeding her when she cries," OP explained.
Where are these "studies," and who tells a parent not to feed a baby?
Then, MIL went and said some really crazy stuff.
Spouting off facts that you can't substantiate is one thing, but when you start calling out a baby's bad behavior? Like, what?
"She says she 'manipulates' me so I give her another bottle. Like WHAT?! She's a BABY! I couldn't help it, I f—ing snapped at her," OP wrote.
We'd love to meet a baby who is smart enough to be manipulative before they can even sit up. That kid is going places.
What does OP do now?
OP feels a bit confused about moving forward now that she and MIL have had it out. The holidays are not the time of year for added drama in families, so she's looking for some advice.
"We have a holiday dinner tomorrow and now things are just awkward. Do I confront her again? Let it go? I'm just so angry. Why do people comment on baby's sizes?" she questioned.
There are a lot of people with fat and happy babies.
What does it matter if the baby is fat? As long as she is healthy, does her size matter? Redditors didn't think so. And a lot of people could empathize.
"I absolutely hate this. I had the fattest baby I've ever seen. He was born at 7lbs6oz and by 6 months old he was 25 lbs. His doc wasn't concerned and said he was healthy. He was 99th percentile for weight and height," one person shared.
"Then he got mobile and slimmed up," the person continued. "He weighed 27lbs for over a year. He just turned 3 and is 35lbs and 40.5 inches, so very tall and slim but not skinny. It's hard to even believe it looking back at his baby pictures. I assumed he would just be huge and 'husky' forever but that was definitely not the case. Your MIL can take several seats."
Some commenters were pretty savage.
"My oldest grew the same way. Fat baby, skinny toddler. Her doctor was not worried at all. MIL needs to find research that isn't old lady Facebook shares," another person shared.
"Do we have the same MIL? Mine also made comments even though my son was not even 90th percentile. He started at 3rd percentile and we worked hard to chonk him up," someone else wrote. "He reached 60th percentile eventually and she made me feel bad about it. I looked up how many calories a baby eats in a day and I would count them out for her if she ever suggested he was eating too much and getting too fat. It took quite a few tries, but she doesn't comment anymore."
Redditors are leery of the MIL.
Some Redditors brought up solid concerns. OP mentioned that MIL takes care of the kids once a week. What is she doing while she is caring for them?
"Well it's okay to be a fat adult, so idk why she cares lol, but seriously, never let her watch your baby," someone warned. "She'll probably starve her when you're not looking."
"If it happens again I would personally ignore it, however I'd also be concerned about her not feeding when appropriate if she watches your daughter without you," someone else agreed. "My one year old went through a growth spurt at six months and was still hungry after the first bottle so I would go and make her another one."
"I would pay attention when she watches your baby from now on. If she is telling you not to feed her, then I would think that your MIL isn't feeding her," another person wrote. "I wouldn't trust my baby around her AT ALL."
That MIL needs to open her eyes.
This is a baby we are talking about. A B.A.B.Y., baby. Is this woman really commenting on an infant's weight in a negative way? It's scary to think about what she might say to the little girl as she grows older. This could be the gateway to a whole lot of problems down the road.
"Stand your ground that's f—-d up behavior. don't let her speak to your daughter like that because she could develop disordered eating habits in future," one person warned. "babies can't manipulate, that is ridiculous. manipulation is a learned behavior and i'd be careful around MIL because she seems to want to pass this behavior down generations. ignore her for now, but if she brings it up again you need to take a hard line."
And then there was this person who experienced something equally sad and terrifying when she had her baby.
"I had a dietitian at the hospital tell me I needed to focus on losing the baby weight and teaching my daughter to control her weight while I was still pregnant," the person wrote. "Also (unless one of my kids is trans) I don't have a daughter, I have two boys. And I had issues eating during pregnancy so I didn't gain enough weight, and I wasn't overweight to begin with. I can't imagine the damage she could do to someone with an eating disorder."
"As we parents know, babies are pretty intuitive eaters so…..your MIL is full of , I'd be very angry at her too!" someone else agreed. "I'd snap back and never leave my daughter with her. As someone who's family gave me disordered eating because of s— like this, this shakes my core."
OP, you don't need this kind of negativity in your life.
Redditors are in your corner. They want you to feed your baby when you think she needs to be fed. Period. Your MIL might be giving her time, but if she can't control what comes out of her mouth, it might be time to find other helping hands.
If your doctor isn't concerned, then you shouldn't be either. Enjoy that baby. She sounds plump and delicious. And tell MIL to save her "studies" for someone who cares.
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