The baby name game is hot right now. There are people who actually make a living coming up with baby names for expecting parents and spend hours working on a statistical analysis of things such as popularity and growth trends. Picking out the perfect name for your baby can be a quick process, or it may take the whole pregnancy to nail it down.
Once you're sure, it can be exciting to share the name with loved ones. But what happens if they don't like it? Many couples withhold sharing their baby's name for this exact reason. They don't want the opinions of the whole world, so mum's the word until the baby is born.
A recent post in Reddit's AITA forum shared a curious predicament. The original poster found out the name her cousin plans to use for her baby, and it's actually an insult in a different language. She shared that info with the expectant mother, who accused OP of sabotage. Is she a jerk for wanting to protect the baby?
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The expectant parents announced the baby's name at a gender reveal party.
OP, 25, explained that as soon as they knew it was a boy, the expectant mom, Ellie, 27, shared the name. OP then went home and told her boyfriend the baby boy's name, and that's where the trouble started.
"After the baby shower, I went home to my boyfriend and I's apartment and told him about the baby's names and gender. He laughed," she wrote. "When he stopped, he explained that the baby's first and last name when said together is an insult in another language. When I asked him for the translation, he got his phone and said it would probably be better to show me."
Her boyfriend called a friend and got put on speakerphone. Wen he said the names it caused a huge stir in the people around the friend. She explained that her boyfriend's friends freaked out and started yelling and cursing at him until OP got on the phone and explained the situation.
OP was concerned for the baby.
After hearing the reaction, OP thought she needed to tell Ellie about the name. It's not common where they live, and the boy may never meet someone with the name or even know what it means. Still, it was a concern, and she said the name alludes to "a person's mother's private parts." OP and her boyfriend went over to tell Ellie about the name.
"We as gently as possible explained that the baby's name is an insult and its meaning. She was absolutely livid. Ellie yelled at us saying that we were trying to ruin the name she had picked out and called me spiteful and jealous," she wrote. "We tried to explain that we meant no harm or disrespect but she wouldn't hear us out and told us to leave. Shortly after, my family and several friends started messaging me saying I was cruel for upsetting Ellie."
OP stands by her decision but wondered if other people would think it was a bad idea.
Some thought OP's motivation was in the right place.
Plenty of people supported OP.
One person would want to know. "If I had found out that my friend's baby name was a serious insult in another country, I'd tell her about it too," the person wrote.
"She can still choose to give it that name if she wants, but you did her a favor by telling her about this now before she had to find out years down the line."
Some commenters didn't see the big deal.
"NTA you were just informing her of a potential issue, not demanding that she change the name or something," one person shared.
"You didn't go there demanding she change the name. you just brought it to her attention. Better to do it now rather than after the baby has arrived," another person wrote.
This person totally got it. "Honestly it was nice of yall to try to warn her, I almost ended up with a name that would've left me with the first two initials BJ. I'm a girl. And my last name starts with a syllable that sounds like 'f—,'" she wrote. "My parents realized it at the last minute and changed my entire name to a backup so now my initials are JC. (Different J name even). If they'd left me with the initials BJ I probably would've changed my name when I was old enough to understand what it meant."
But others thought OP was overreacting.
Making a big deal out of the situation felt dramatic to some Redditors.
"The only time this would matter is when the child is in school," one person wrote. "It's a rare language – their school mates won't know what it means in a native language of Zambia."
And this person agreed: "YTA. You told them about a 'problem' that isn't remotely a problem."
So did this one: "YTA, different language in a different country that has 0 to don with the geo location and language. You just find it interesting and literally went to kill the mood of the soon to be parents."
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This is a tough one.
Looking at the comments, OP is in a tough spot in this situation. It could really go either way. Maybe it will just serve as a lesson for her to do a lot of research to avoid this kind of thing if she ever has a baby. Because here, no matter what she does, it's going to upset people.
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