It’s no secret that LGBTQ+ children don’t always get the love and support they need and deserve from their parents. Even parents with the best intentions might not know how to respond when their child comes out to them.
In an attempt not to say the wrong thing, one mom did something unusual to make sure she handled her son’s coming out properly: She called a gay bar.
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A gay bar got an unusual call from a mother.
Kara Alley, a bartender at a gay bar called Sipps in Gulfport, Mississippi, answered the phone that day and later recounted the interesting exchange on her Facebook page. Her post went viral, and it encouraged and inspired a lot of people who may not have gotten the same type of care and consideration.
One evening, the phone rang, and Alley answered, “Thank you for calling Sipps.” The woman on the other line asked, “Is this a gay bar?”
Alley told her the bar accepts everyone but that most of its clientele belongs to the LGBTQ community.
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The woman had called the bar for advice.
The caller continued, “Can I ask you a question? Are you gay?” Alley confirmed that she is.
That’s when the woman on the line revealed the real reason for her call. “What was the one thing you wanted from your parents when you came out?” the woman asked.
Alley had been a bartender for more than 17 years at that point and had never received a question like that. The woman on the phone shared that her son had just come out to her and she didn’t want “to say anything that may mess him up in the head.”
Alley took a minute to think before asking a question of her own: Do you accept your son for who he is?
Alley told the mother to keep it simple.
The woman on the phone said, “Umm yes, if that’s what he wants.”
Alley replied, “You should definitely let him know that you love and accept him, and I think everything will be ok from there!”
The mother thanked Alley. Alley said she was welcome and wished the mom good luck.
When Alley shared the exchange on Facebook, she noted that she was feeling positive. The people who read the post echoed the sentiment.
A Facebook user said the conversation represented progress.
“A beacon of light…God used you tonight and I'm glad that you accepted the call,” one commenter shared of Alley’s conversation.
Another person commended the mother for taking this step. “This is called progress. When a mother doesn’t know how to react, she asks for advice," the person wrote. "And that isn’t just good motherhood, that is a sign that the fight for equality is only becoming closer and closer to being over.”
Alley thinks the post went viral because people were looking for positivity.
The post has been liked thousands of times and shared more than 500 times since it was originally shared several years ago. Alley wrote that she thought the post became so popular because people were looking for encouragement in the midst of so much darkness.
"Every day people wake up and there's so much negativity in the world — people just need a breath of fresh air!" she shared.
Alley also added that parents of LGBTQ+ youth can educate themselves and do a little research, but the most important thing is love and support. “Just knowing you have someone in your corner takes a little weight off your shoulders,” she said.
