Baby showers are meant to be fun and celebratory — a sweet time during pregnancy when friends and family can all come together to show some love for you and your soon-to-be baby. But like it or not, baby showers also can be a source of unnecessary anxiety and stress, which can quickly turn an otherwise happy event into something much less enjoyable.
Maybe you have some strong personalities in your family that can make social events kind of … complicated. Or maybe you honestly hate the idea of being the center of attention, especially at a time when you might not be feeling your best.
Trust us, we get it. But it's more than OK to buck a few baby shower trends to suit your own wants and needs. In fact, it's kind of the whole point. A lot of moms-to-be are taking more personalized approaches to their baby showers so they can celebrate their little one without feeling an overwhelming responsibility to stick to antiquated rules or annoying traditions.
To get some fresh perspectives, we asked 11 new mamas how they took the stress out of their own baby showers to create a day that felt fun and headache-free. Scroll on to get some inspiration!
1. Plan It Around a Group Activity
"I don't like any sort of attention placed on me. (My husband and I even eloped because I couldn't stand the thought of walking down the aisle with everyone looking at me!) So the idea of a baby shower where I was the main showpiece made me beyond nervous.
"Instead, my friends and family (who know my quirks) arranged a 'Bowling for Baby' shower for me. We bowled, we laughed, and everyone was so competitive I never felt like I was in the spotlight. It was perfect." — Layne R.
2. Create a Small-Ticket Baby Registry
"I was really worried about friends and family feeling obligated to spend a lot of money on baby gifts, so I made one registry filled with lower-priced items and made that public. Then I made a separate, private registry filled with the bigger-ticket items just so that I could keep track of the things I still needed to buy myself. It gave me peace of mind." — Jackie F.
3. Have a Bed-Rest Baby Shower
"I had a rough pregnancy and was on bed rest for a lot of it. Friends kept asking me about shower dates, and I didn't want to commit to anything for fear of not being able to attend. My closest friends and a few family members threw a very small pajama party for me instead. We piled onto my bed, watched movies, and even opened gifts." — Heather M.
4. Make the Guest List Co-Ed
"My in-laws are a lot to handle, and I was really worried about how I was going to make it through my shower without strangling my mother-in-law. So we made it a co-ed party. My husband was helpful in diffusing weird situations with his mom, and I was able to enjoy time with my friends and family." — Charity M.
5. Skip the Big Gift-Opening Spectacle
"As a kid, I was shy and my parents were always told I'd grow out of it. I didn't. So when it came to my baby shower, I would have panic attacks just thinking about sitting in front of this mountain of gifts, opening each one in front of a room full of people. I was fully prepared to just not have one at all.
"But friends convinced me they could pull off a shower without the traditional gift-opening part. I felt really awkward about it and I know some guests were disappointed, but I made sure to carefully write thoughtful thank-yous to each and every person. In the end, that awkwardness was easier than the panic-inducing idea of opening the gifts in public." — Constance J.
6. Have Separate Showers
"My family and my husband's family don't get along at all. Even the thought of putting friends in charge of the shower planning stressed me out, because I figured someone was going to be insulted. We ended up having two separate showers instead. It felt like way too much for one little baby, but at least it kept both sides happy." — Carrie D.
7. Add Some DIY Fun
"I'm a pretty anxious person, and one of the things I do to calm myself down is craft. Instead of worrying about everything that could go wrong with my baby shower, I asked the friends hosting to make it a crafting theme … and it was amazing! We made so many fun things for the baby's nursery and decorated onesies. I was totally zen for the whole thing." — Marisol A.
8. Let Guests Choose Their Own Gifts
"I do a lot of research before I buy anything, so going into registering for my baby, I thought I was prepared. Then I became overwhelmed to the point where the sight of a baby store would give me chest pains. My solution was to make others do the work for me.
"Since everyone I knew had an opinion on what my kid would need, I basically did a reverse registry. I let my friends fill out the registry with what they wanted me to have and what they bought. In the end, it actually worked out really well!" — Debra N.
9. Keep the Guest List Small
"The biggest source of stress for me was narrowing down the guest list. I didn't want a huge baby shower and I hate it when it looks like people are just fishing for gifts. Even so, I started to fall into the trap of 'Well, if I invite this person then this other person will feel offended if they aren't invited …' and so on.
"Eventually, I just made the guest list super small, with only really close friends and family. When anyone else asked me if I was having a shower, I explained we only had space for family but made sure to try to schedule a lunch or something with them later. I found that if I sincerely asked them for parenting advice, that also cushioned the blow." — Vanessa D.
10. Accept a Meal Train Instead
"My husband and I politely declined the offer for a baby shower, but friends set up a meal train for us so that we'd be fully stocked with food for practically a month after our son arrived. It was awesome and so perfect for our situation." — Delilah J.
11. Skip the Shower Completely!
"My mom passed away when I was a teenager and I've had to experience a lot of monumental life moments on my own. I really couldn't stand the idea of having a baby shower, knowing that I couldn't share the day with her. So I skipped it. My friends kept trying to talk me into a shower and I know they meant well, but I don't regret not having one. It wasn't worth the stress for me." — Marianne L.
