It Might Be Time To Adopt ‘No-Present Parties’ for Our Kids

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If you’ve ever planned a child’s birthday party, you know the whole ordeal can be stressful. You have to balance the expectations of your child with those of the guests, some of whom may be adults. And while you may be wrestling with the idea of spending more than you should and worrying about whether you have enough food, there is also pressure on your guests.

Traditionally, when you receive an invite to a child’s party, that also means that you’re expected to bring a gift for the guest of honor. With the cost of living skyrocketing and many children’s toys ending up in landfills, it’s a practice some are considering abandoning altogether.

Mom of two Carly Hobbs says 'no-present parties' are the way forward.

Two mothers in the UK shared their differing perspectives on giving birthday gifts to children and why they are for or against it. First, there is 38-year-old Hobbs, a journalist and makeup artist who lives with her partner Jonathan and their two sons, 4-year-old Billy and 2-year-old Dex. Hobbs says that going forward, her children will be having “no-present parties.” She hopes this will be the case for the parties she hosts and the ones her children will attend.

“I’m all for the fun and celebrations,” Hobbs told The U.S. Sun. “It’s the stress, pressure, and the cost of giving that I’d rather say no to when I RSVP.”

Hobbs says it's about the memories, not the gifts.

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Hobbs asserts that children are more likely to remember the experience rather than the gifts they received. That was certainly the case for her. “Thinking back to my own childhood, I have happy memories of sliding on my knees across makeshift dance floors and a hot, happy face from blowing out the candles. Not the fancy gift I was bought by my classmate Jack,” Hobbs explained.

She hopes the children who attend her sons’ parties will prioritize coming with excitement instead of beautifully wrapped gift.

Hobbs said she had to donate many of the gifts her children received at their last joint birthday party.

“We ended up with so many presents, we donated more than half of them to a local charity gift appeal,” she said. “We simply didn’t have the space or the need for them.” Hobbs said she felt guilty for donating the gifts, but found solace in knowing she was donating the toys to a child in need.

Going forward, Hobbs said she’ll be borrowing the wedding adage: “We prefer your presence not your presents.”

Another mother believes bringing gifts is a sign of good manners.

Sarah Haselwood, a 46-year-old copywriter who lives with her partner Julien and her sons 9-year-old James and 8-year-old Oliver, sees things differently. “Children are only young once and the stage of big parities only lasts for a short time,” Haselwood told the Sun. “So let kids enjoy presents — however small they may be — while they can.”

She says as parents we’ll eventually miss the excitement that comes from watching children open gifts. Haselwood says as adults, bringing gifts is a sign of proper etiquette. “When an adult is invited to a party, taking a bottle or other small gesture of thanks is good form, so why is it any different for kids?”

Haselwood says kids deserve a little bit of magic.

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Buying gifts doesn’t mean spending beyond your means, says Haselwood. When she started buying gifts for her sons’ classmates, she spent wisely. “I always stuck within my budget,” Haselwood adds. “With books costing as little as £1, I feel it isn’t too much to ask, or to give.” Haselwood says if you’re worried that a child’s parent might judge you for the gift you give, don’t accept the invitation to the party.

“Children deserve to be children while they can and parties, and presents, are a way to celebrate their childhood,” Haselwood said. “They’ve had enough disruption the last few years, with home schooling, strikes, and the war in Ukraine. They need a bit of magic.”