Kids' birthday parties are totally for the birds. Well, not all of them, but they can be a real drag. Parents have to plan all the food and activities or book a pricey venue and figure out guest lists and dates, and it's just so much work. Whatever happened to everyone coming to your house for a slice of cake, presents, maybe a game or two, and going home? You could wrap up those suckers in an hour. Throw them a loot bag with a lollipop and a punching balloon, and everyone was happy. Now, they're just, ugh.
It's really a mess when the kids are little, not like elementary little but preschool. Those kinds of parties not only include the kids but also the parents, and it can get a tad crowded. A poor mom on Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable Forum feels totally guilty about her daughter's birthday party and the guest list. She didn't include some dear friends who are now hurt. Should she have included them, or was it OK to draw the line?
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The friends who didn't make the cut don't have children.
The original poster explained that she didn't arbitrarily not invite her friends to hurt them. She only invited her daughter's friends from nursery and her friends with kids who enjoy playdates.
"I stupidly chose a tiny venue so there is a huge lack of space. I'm pretty sure I can't even comfortably fit everyone I have invited!" she wrote.
She had some pretty valid reasons for keeping the party small.
First, she planned a party last year, and only a few people showed up despite many being invited. That is the worst, and we can't blame her for that one. And you know what else? She is 39 weeks pregnant. That's cutting it close. Her daughter was probably lucky even to get a party this year.
"I haven't even invited any family! I don't want to upset them as they have been amazing friends and are great with DD. But I had to draw the line somewhere. AIBU to just invite people with children?" she asked.
There will be adults there, right?
Some of the Mumsnet crowd understood OP's friends' point of view.
"If the child is under 3 and adults are staying then yes I can understand how your friend may be p—ed off as they are really an adult get together," someone wrote.
If your friends have celebrated her before, they probably want to do it again. But one Mumsnet user had a good point.
"I can see why [their] nose is out of joint initially, if they're involved in her life then it makes sense that they will want to celebrate with her. Just explain the situation and organise something else with them, lunch or something. You're not being unreasonable," the person wrote.
Other people think nope, this is totally reasonable.
Were OP's friends looking to be entertained themselves? Some wondered.
"It all sounds a bit childish. What sort of party did they think it was? Drinks and nibbles! With loads of kids you're responsible for? How silly of them," one person wrote.
"I think your amigas are being a tiny wee bit self-focused, and if your mates tried to look at it from your perspective then you wouldn't be having to post this. I also think having a party with a few days left to go before a c-section is a lot, and your dedication to your DD's birthday is lovely," another Mumsnet user pointed out.
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OP, just focus on yourself and your kids.
Yes, some feelings may have been hurt, but we are talking about adults, and they need to act like it. Even though they may not understand what it is like to raise a young child and be pregnant with another, they should be more empathetic if they are decent friends.
You are doing your best in the final days before adding another person to your household. One Mumsnet commenter said you should tell your friends that you'll call to celebrate your children after the baby comes.
That should be enough for them. If not, then a little time and space may be in order. Recovering from labor and delivery is the perfect excuse to rest and let them think about what is really important.
