When it comes to introducing newborns to the world, we've all had a few well-meaning family members who didn't fully listen to our gentle reminders. You know the ones — they forget to wash their hands before picking up the baby or get just a little too close for comfort, no matter how much we explain that infants are extra vulnerable. And considering the current risks of the growing measles epidemic, it's no wonder new parents are on high alert — especially if an unvaccinated family member comes around. Such was the situation one mom was trying to explain to her mother-in-law recently, after the MIL had a coughing fit and then tried to kiss her 6-day-old baby. As the new mom shared on Reddit this week, she told her MIL that she couldn't smooch the baby and it did NOT go over well …
In her post, the anonymous mom explains that she was practically fuming when her MIL broke her No. 1 Rule: Don't visit my baby if you're sick.
To be fair, she only had two simple rules for family who wanted to meet her days-old newborn: Don't visit the baby if you're sick and don't kiss the baby on the face and/or hands.
But apparently, her MIL didn't think those rules applied to her.
In her post, the mom wrote that her MIL came to drop off some of the gifts from her baby shower and while she was visiting, had a coughing fit. The MIL claimed it was just "allergies" and then proceeded to break the mom's two main cardinal rules.
"She continued to kiss my newborn baby (6-days-old) on the face and hands!" the new mom wrote. "I didn’t say anything at the time, just kindly removed my child from her while my boyfriend told her to get out if she couldn’t respect our wishes."
Luckily, the woman's sister-in-law also happens to be her BFF -- so she backed her up when her boyfriend told her the dirt.
The SIL told her mom to stop kissing the baby, but of course, the grandma didn't take the instructions gracefully.
"[She] then calls me NINE times and when I finally answer she tells me I’m a stuck up [expletive] for trying to tell her how to be a grandparent, and that she 'doesn’t have germs,'" the mom continued. "She finished by saying she wants nothing to do with us or the baby to which I said, 'good.'"
Um. Wow.
The mom finished her rant by saying she's thinking of cutting off contact with her MIL in general, but wanted to turn to the internet for a second opinion, asking, "Am I overreacting?"
A lot of people were furious that the MIL had broken the rules to begin with.
In the comments, people were livid that this grandma was not respecting the new mom's wishes.
"She doesn't have germs, what kind of a ninny is she?" one person wrote. "To boot oh, she's coughing all over the place and if you've ever seen any of the videos of this she's spraying [expletive] all over the place."
"Everyone has germs," added another person, "but a newborn literally has no immunity against them. And clearly someone has to tell her how to grandparent bc she can’t be [expletive] to figure out basic boundaries. Besides being a grandparent is a privilege not a right so maybe she doesn’t get that right."
Another person also agreed that this MIL was being selfish.
"Listen. Anyone with a tiny sniffle, even mom and dad, should not kiss the freaking baby," the commenter wrote. "Babies have zero immune system. You’re asking for trouble when letting ANYONE kiss the baby, let alone anyone that’s sick. Everyone knows this, even me, someone with zero kids."
But not everyone saw it that way. Some people thought the mom needed to understand things from her MIL's side.
There was at least one person who was willing to stick up for the poster's MIL.
"Remember that grandparents grew up with different ideas on parenting, values and understanding of how things work," the commenter wrote. "Many times the culture has changed a ton over a few decades, especially if they grew up in another country. My MIL still thinks wet hair after a bath causes pneumonia."
But the new mom just couldn't get on board with this perspective. Her MIL was being straight-up "selfish" — and she can't see it any other way.
"Me and [my boyfriend] don’t even kiss the baby!" she wrote. "We’re not trying to leave her out, she thinks she’s special because she’s 'the grandma' but she doesn’t care about him! My mom won’t even hold him if she’s been to the store first. [Father-in-law] hasn’t held him yet either because he works with gutters and he wants two days off before he’s clean enough to hold him. She’s selfish," she added.
Sheesh.
Hopefully this little tiff won't drive a wedge between family members for good. But the new mama does have every right to put her foot down. Here's hoping she doesn't write Grandma off for good, but does let her know that she can't see the baby until "allergy" season is over — and that until then, she has to play by her rules.
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