When we entrust our kids to loved ones, be it for an hour or a week, we expect them to honor and uphold our decisions. When that trust is betrayed, it can send even the calmest of parents into a rage. Still, one dad is extremely disturbed by his wife’s reaction to something his sister did that he feels was completely innocuous.
The dad wrote in to Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column to seek out someone else’s take on their situation. He went on to explain that his sister recently watched their 7-year-old daughter and read her the book Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Anyone who grew up in the ’90s knows the book is pure nightmare fuel, with eerie illustrations and creepy stories, and most of us loved every minute of it.
The little girl loved the book so much, she brought it home to show her 5-year-old brother. He was not as thrilled, and the dad shared that his son refuses to sleep without the lights on and has spent a significant amount of time in their room.
His wife is beyond angry. “[My wife] was so furious that she put the book through our paper shredder, page by page, and mailed the remnants to [my sister] along with an irate note telling her she was no longer welcome in our house or around our kids for giving [my daughter] something that had ‘traumatized’ her brother,” the dad wrote in his letter.
He thinks she is overreacting but claims that as far as she is concerned, he must choose between her and the kids or his sister.
The advice columnist agreed that the wife’s reaction was a bit extreme.
“Destroying a book that your sister has had since childhood is an extreme reaction to what happened,” the columnist acknowledged, suggesting the couple go to therapy to address her rage if this is a regular occurrence. “I understand her frustration at your son being scared, and I would likely agree with your wife that neither of your children are old enough for this book. However, this was an innocent mistake from someone I’m assuming doesn’t have children, not a deliberate act of malice.”
As the mom of a very horror-averse 7-year-old, I too get the initial rage. To be honest, however, I think this mom is delusional if she thinks this book from the ’90s will be the only exposure her kids get to horror. If they function in the world, they are influenced by it almost everywhere.
The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that now more than ever, kids are exposed to and enjoy horror content. Platforms like YouTube, Roblox, and Fortnite often suggest horror content to young viewers. Research shows that the average American child “will see at least 40,000 simulated murders and 200,000 violent acts on TV,” and that’s not even counting video games.
Also, according to Sleep Doctor, 50% of children between the ages of 3 and 6 report frequent nightmares, while 20% of children ages 6 to 12 do as well.
That’s not to say that we should all throw our hands up and stop monitoring our kids and what they are exposed to, but to cut off a family member for a mistake like this seems a bit extreme. I could see the mom not allowing the sister to watch the kids alone, but to keep them from her entirely seems a bit harsh. I sincerely hope once her anger quells a bit, they can all come to some sort of mutual understanding.
