Adopting a child isn’t an easy process. Parents who choose to adopt often have to go through a lot to bring that child home. And for kids who are adopted, especially kids old enough to be aware of what’s about to change, it’s an overwhelming experience. International adoptions are like this but often even more intense. But what happens if parents adopt a child and then decide to give the little one back?
Sabrina Caldwell lived through that and is still here to tell the tale, but what she endured certainly wasn’t easy. Thankfully, she was able to share her side of the story and how the experience has shaped her life.
Caldwell was 9 years old when she was adopted by an American couple named Crystal and Jesse in 1997. They were all the subjects of a special produced by 48 Hours called “The Perfect Child,” which aired in 2000. More than 20 years later, a follow-up called “What Happened to the Perfect Child?” aired in 2022.
In the initial interview, Crystal and Jesse, whose last name was withheld for privacy, told Tony Roberts that they decided to adopt from Russia after being unable to have children of their own. They adopted Caldwell, calling her Caralee, and a younger boy named Joshua.
“When we finally learned that we were going to be able to go over to Russia and pick up a little boy and girl of our own, it was just a tremendous event,” Jesse told Roberts at the time of the first interview.
They explained that Caralee’s behavior changed once they brought the girl back to the states. She became withdrawn, angry, and nothing like the “beautiful child” she had been when they first adopted her, CBS News reported
And then, the most horrifying incident happened. One day while Crystal was in the backyard with the children, she turned to see Caralee holding 4-year-old Joshua over the 30-foot railing of their deck.
“Her face, there was anger and hate,” Crystal told Roberts. Naturally, she demanded that the girl put her brother down. When she questioned the girl, she said, “’I’m gonna kill him.’” And when Crystal asked why, the girl said “I’m mad at him’… I said…’You don’t mean kill him.’ And she said, ‘yes, I do.’” The girl also claimed to be hearing voices and seeing things.
The couple took their daughter to multiple psychiatrists who agreed that she was a “homicide risk.” At least one doctor, however, called her behavior “impeccable” and blamed Crystal and Jesse for her behavior, calling them “cool and distant” to their daughter.
In an attempt to curb her behavior, the family installed security cameras in the home, and sent their son 600 miles away to live with his grandmother. When none of it seemed to work, they made the difficult decision to send their daughter back to Russia.
Before she went back to the Russian psychiatric hospital her adoptive parents sent her to, the girl told Roberts something shocking.
“I did not try to kill my brother,” she revealed. The girl claimed she was trying to pick him up at the time. But she struggled “because he was too heavy—I love him. Mom and Daddy just don’t understand it.”
Crystal and Jesse felt they did all they could, despite her revelation. They dissolved the adoption in 2000.
Sabrina Caldwell, as she is now known, reached out to Roberts in the summer of 2021. During their reunion, she explained that she felt Crystal and Jesse favored her brother over her, and that made her feel unwanted and suicidal.
“I told Crystal, ‘You know, I’m seeing and hearing things.’ Cause I wanted out,” she told Roberts. She also explained that Crystal kept insisting she tried to kill her brother, so eventually she went along with it.
Caldwell spent two months in the Russian mental hospital before being adopted by another US family in North Carolina in 2002. In 2012, after traveling the world doing volunteer work, she met Phil Caldwell. They married in 2014 and have four kids together. Now, she has compassion for her first adoptive parents.
“Putting myself in their shoes, I would have probably done almost the same thing. I wouldn’t … take a child back,” she admitted.
“I learned to forgive my past,” she said. “I have an amazing husband … I have amazing kids. But if I didn’t go through what I went through I wouldn’t have that.”
